Page 131 of Wife Number One

He set his jaw in a stubborn clench. “Because I’m thirty-five and can’t even pass a freaking high school equivalency exam.”

I hated that he’d written himself off so quickly. “I’ve never passed it either. We could do it together. Study. Pretend like we’re actually in high school. Might be fun?”

Our waitress reappeared and placed two plates of food down in front of us. We both thanked her and dove into our food. My stomach growled with hunger after working up an appetite with him earlier, and the meal, though simple, was delicious.

We ate in silence for so long it took me by surprise when he paused, his burger halfway to his mouth. “Would you really want to do the test with me?”

I nodded honestly, excitement flickering inside me at the thought of doing something like that. Josiah had never wanted me to have a single thought about anything, other than providing him with a baby. The idea of studying and learning and bettering myself because I wanted to, not because he controlled me, was so incredibly appealing. “I very much would. I’m so grateful for the safety and protection of the Slayers. Please don’t take this to mean that I’m not. But I can’t hide in there forever either. Hayley Jade needs to go to school. I don’t want to homeschool her the way I was. I want her to have all the opportunities I didn’t have. I want her to go to a classroom and have friends and learn things that aren’t just about the Lord and what He wants from us.” I picked up a fry, tapping it against my plate to knock off the excess salt. “I want that for myself too. I don’t know anything. We studied a lot, but so much of it was religion. I was taught to read and do basic math, but I know nothing of anything more. I watched a documentary on leeches the other day, and did you know they still use them in modern medicine?”

He swallowed the bite of hamburger he’d been working on and shook his head. “I didn’t.”

“I found that fascinating.”

“Everything about medicine is fascinating,” he murmured, trying to hide the earnest tone in his voice but doing a poor job of it.

I watched him. “You know the hospital clinic needs volunteers. I saw the poster in the waiting room when we were there the other day.”

Hawk scoffed. “What would I volunteer to do there? Disinfect the tables? Roll bandages? I’m not doing that. I’m not qualified to do anything that would actually help anyone.”

“Neither am I. But I’ve been thinking about applying.” It was a lie. I hadn’t really been thinking about it.

But it was right up Hawk’s alley. Who cared if he had to do the grunt work? The clinic clearly needed help, and it would be a foot in the door to the career he wanted.

The life he led…it was dark and hard and dangerous. If it wasn’t what he wanted, if it wasn’t what got him up in the morning, then how long could he do that for? How long could he waste his life doing something that didn’t bring him any joy, just because he’d never been given the chance to do anything more?

His eyes darkened. “You are not going back to that hospital with that creep doctor there.”

I’d barely had a chance to think about what the doctor had said, except now it all came back in a rush.

With a clear head, in this safe spot in a diner, without fear paralyzing me, and Hawk punching people, I considered the warning.

“He said his wife had been killed the same way Alice had and that I was in danger too. What if he’s right?” I asked quietly. “The cops think there’s a serial killer. That doctor clearly does too. What if we’ve been barking up the wrong tree by assuming Josiah is responsible for Alice’s death?”

Hawk put his burger down and breathed out a long rush of air. “It seems incredibly coincidental, don’t you think?” His eyes darkened. “That doctor prick gives me the creeps. I don’t want you near him.”

But he hadn’t seemed like a creep. He’d seemed like a nice man who’d tried to make me laugh. And one who didn’t want to see me end up in the morgue with my sister.

“You don’t want anyone near me,” I argued with a sigh. “Hawk, I need to leave the compound. Keeping me there, keeping me behind those fences is exactly what Josiah did to me.”

He froze. “Don’t fucking compare me to him.”

I grabbed his hand, squeezing my fingernails into his palm to make sure he was listening. “You aren’t like him,” I promised him. “God, Hawk. You’re so different from him in so many ways. He kept me behind bars because he wanted to own me. You do it because you want to protect me.”

His mouth flattened into a tight line, and he accepted my explanation. “But at the end of the day, the result is the same.”

“I’m a prisoner,” I said softly.

He looked away and swore low under his breath. “Fuck. That’s not what I want. I just want you to be safe.”

“I know.”

“The medical thing at the hospital,” he said slowly. “The volunteer thing. You really want to do that?”

I hadn’t even truly considered it. But it did tick a lot of boxes for me. Hayley Jade would be in school soon. She had to be. She needed friends to play with and to learn.

And maybe so did I. There was so much suffering at that clinic. So many people who needed help, and the people there were doing their best.

I couldn’t believe a man who studied medicine, who gave up his time to care for people who couldn’t afford medical treatment, could be all that bad.

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