Page 127 of Wife Number One

Hayley Jade didn’t respond, but she definitely seemed interested.

That was enough for me. She might not have been complaining out loud, but it was clear she needed to get outside these walls as much as I did.

I’d ask Hawk to take us. It was too cold to swim, but we could play with her toys and maybe go for a wander along the boardwalk. Build a sandcastle. Dip our toes into the ocean.

Swing her around in circles.

Hug her.

Hold her.

God, I wanted all those things so badly, it hurt. Tears filled my eyes, and like she could read my mind, Queenie squeezed my arm. “Patience, sugar.”

I really, really hoped so. Because I wanted that day to happen. I wanted it so bad I could practically taste it.

Aloha called Queenie about an hour later, and I was still sitting on the floor with Hayley Jade. My legs screamed in pain from sitting in the one spot so long, but I couldn’t drag myself away. Our dolls had been through multiple outfit changes, and mine had followed Hayley Jade’s around, trying to engage and not getting much in return but really just thrilled to be in her presence.

“I’ve got to head on up to the clubhouse. My man is trying to cook dinner, and if we want it to be edible, I’m going to have to get up there and supervise.” She glanced at Hayley Jade. “You want to stay here, sugar?”

Hayley Jade shook her little head quickly, jumping up to put her hand in Queenie’s.

It hurt, but I tried not to let Hayley Jade see. “I liked playing with you,” I told her softly. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell her I’d ask Hawk to take us to the beach one day.

But I didn’t want to promise something I couldn’t deliver on.

Hawk had left the cabin upset this morning, and I didn’t even know if he was planning on coming back.

Or if he even wanted anything to do with me anymore.

I couldn’t blame him.

I wondered if I’d always dreamed of Hayden. Josiah never slept in my bed, always leaving to go back to his own. I’d never woken up with a man the way I had that morning with Hawk.

It was probably lucky Josiah had always liked his own space. If I’d spoken another man’s name in his presence, I’d probably be dead now.

At least Hawk had just walked away. Though that somehow felt just as bad.

I waved goodbye to Queenie and Hayley Jade. Queenie promised to save me some of the chili Aloha was making, if it turned out to be edible, that was.

I mouthed a silent thank you at her, meaning it for more than just the food.

“She’s helping me as much as I’m helping her,” Queenie promised.

I didn’t push her on that because it seemed like it stemmed from a place of hurt. I knew all about the sort of pain that came from not having the children you wanted. So I didn’t ask her to elaborate or share her story.

I’d only just sat on the couch when the telltale squeak of the front step gave away someone was out there. I stood, quickly hurrying back to the door to open it. “Did you forget something?” I asked, expecting to see Queenie.

Hawk stood on the other side, his hands shoved into his pockets. He lifted his gaze to meet mine. “Yeah. This.”

He stepped in, cupping my face with both hands and tilting it up so he could claim my mouth with his. My body sank into his, and I kissed him back, clutching his shirt. Our tongues tangled as the kiss deepened.

He tasted vaguely of bourbon and smoke, and it thrilled me as much as the feel of his body against mine. Kissing him sent longing through my entire body, until I was sure it was something I’d never be able to get enough of.

I’d had no idea kissing could make you feel like flying and falling all at once

When he pulled back, it was barely an inch. His lips hovered over mine. “I shouldn’t have done that this morning.”

“I liked it,” I admitted. The memory of him taking me hard and fast, up against the wall, was burned into my brain as the most erotic thing I’d ever done. Something I would have been shamed for at the commune, but it had lit me up inside, knowing he wanted me so bad he couldn’t even leave without having me one last time.

---