Page 11 of Wife Number One

I’d been chosen because of my ability to bear children at a time when Josiah had few other options. But he’d made no secret of his disgust and the fact he had never found me attractive. My face was too round. My thighs too thick. Breasts too full and heavy so they didn’t sit high and perky anymore, if they ever had. My stomach wobbled, and silver stretch mark scars from carrying Hayley Jade inside me all those years ago covered my skin.

I brushed my teeth slowly and meticulously, spitting toothpaste into the basin and rinsing my mouth. Reluctantly, I put my veil back on.

In the silent room, the tiny tap at my window was easily heard.

I glanced over my shoulder, trying to place the unusual sound. It came again, a tiny pebble flicking off the glass window.

I rushed to the windowsill and peered out into the night, squinting through the darkness and trying to make out the shadowy shapes on the ground below.

Alice waved to me frantically from behind a shrub, beckoning me down.

My heart rate increased, nerves racing through me. I shook my head, motioning for her to leave. If Josiah or one of the other wives caught her out there, she’d be punished.

And so would I.

But Alice was insistent. Her mouth pulled into a stubborn line, and her miming turned aggressive. She angrily pointed at me, and then down at the ground, a clear summons.

When I didn’t move, she changed tactics, stabbing one finger at her chest, and then toward the front door.

Oh no. She could not come to the door at this time of night and knock. Children would wake, Josiah would be so angry. We weren’t permitted guests he hadn’t approved and most certainly not after dark.

Alice stepped out from behind the bushes and walked toward the door, glaring up at me in defiance.

“Stop!” I whisper-shouted, placing my palm flat on the windowpane, like that could halt her in her tracks.

To my surprise, it did. But I knew it wouldn’t keep her still long. Clearly, she had something to say and nothing I did was going to deter her. I slipped on my shoes and jacket, closing the thick material around me and belting it at my middle. I poked my head out into the hallway, checking both ways. It was empty. Muffled sounds came from behind the closed doors, the other wives putting their children to bed with lullabies and Bible stories.

I had no idea where Josiah was, but worry plagued me that he could be somewhere in the house or on his way back from a meeting.

The last thing I wanted was for him to catch Alice loitering around outside.

I crept down the stairs, grateful the house was still new enough they didn’t squeak. At the landing, I hurried through the darkened living room and reached for the door handle.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

I froze, spinning around.

Camilla, wife number two, scowled at me in the darkness. Her youngest was swaddled in her arms, quiet in sleep. I hadn’t even seen her, curled up on the couch with her son.

“Camilla.” I put my hand over my heart, trying to calm the racing pulse. “You startled me. Is Jonathan colicky again?”

“I’ve got him off again now. I was just about to take him back upstairs.”

I nodded at her. “Of course. Don’t let me stop you. I’m just going out for some air. My stomach is a little off, and my room is stuffy. A short, nighttime walk will do me good.”

Camilla’s eyes narrowed. “It’s past curfew.”

She was right. We weren’t allowed outside the home after darkness fell. I already knew she would tattle to Josiah the minute he returned. The fact she hadn’t already called out for him told me she knew he wasn’t here.

Jealousy rolled off her in waves, just like it always did when we were forced to interact. Why, I had no real idea. She was the perfect wife. With four beautiful children in such a short space of time, surely she knew she was Josiah’s favorite.

But I was wife number one, and it was clear it irked her. Even if I was a failure in every other way.

I needed to get outside before Alice came looking for me. “I’ll only be a minute, and I won’t go far. But I don’t think anyone wants me in here, vomiting and waking the babies up. Do you? You probably should go upstairs now. I may be contagious.”

Camilla screwed her nose up and covered little Jonathan’s face with the blanket, like that would keep him safe from my cooties. “We’ll need to disinfect everything in the morning if you have a stomach virus.”

“Indeed, sister. I am truly sorry for the extra work. But please, l must go now. I really do feel quite ill.”

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