Page 10 of Just Joshing
My phone buzzed with another text from Bess.
Bess: Send me your answers. I want to approve them before you submit. God knows you have zero game.
"Well fuck you too," I downed a large gulp of the Kahlua, grimacing at the taste. "Okay, let's do this."
Describe your perfect date.
"Not speed dating." I sniggered, lifting the bottle again as an idea took root. "Well, you asked for this Bessie-girl." I put the bottle to the side, typing quickly. "A date that ends in mutual orgasms. Preferably multiples." I giggled, drinking again.
Describe the attributes you find most attractive in a partner.
"Big dick, tongue that he knows what to do with, thick fingers, big hands. Great laugh."
If you were stuck on a desert island what three items would you take?
"A private plane, pilot and enough fuel to escape - duh."
Describe yourself in three words
"Brilliant, hilarious, horny." I sniggered, drinking again.
The answers got more outrageous as the questions progressed.
How would you describe your sex life?
"Dinosaur erotica."
What do you prefer – dogs or cats?
"Llama."
I hit save at the end of the sheet, uncontrolled belly-laughs sending tears streaming down my face.
Oh yeah, I was off my face drunk. I'd be feeling it tomorrow for sure.
A notification popped up, letting me know I had an email. I clicked, lifting the bottle to my mouth.
Thanks for submitting your questionnaire! Our team at Speedy Singles™ will review your answers and get in contact with you shortly if they have any questions. In the meantime-
"Fuck!" I spat the Kahlua at the screen, frantically scrolling back to the original email. The questionnaire was an auto submit form. I'd missed the line that explained that saving meant submitting.
"Oh shit. Ohshitohshitohshitohshit." I whispered, eyes bugging out as I reread my answers.
I pushed away from the computer, heading to my bedroom. I fell face first into my pillow, letting it smother my scream.
"Fuck." I jerked upright. "Bess can never know. No one can ever know."
God help whoever I was paired with next weekend.
Chapter Three
Molly
"Mr. Ainsle." I dialed up my smile to flirtatiously professional, while ignoring the pounding in my head. "So wonderful to see you." I held out a hand, letting him draw me in for a kiss on the cheek.
"Molly Archer." His big voice boomed out of his rotund body. "When will you run away with me?"
I withdrew, smile locked firmly in place. "You know my heart is with the children."
