Page 29 of Sweet Surrender

It was him.

It was him all along.

I had been fantasizing about him, touching myself to the memory of him, wondering if I would ever find anyone to make me come the way he did or if I should’ve asked who he was so we could reconnect.

And even as I broke down and let the tears fall, I didn’t know why I was crying. Was it that he had found a way to make a fool of me again or that I knew this meant our last encounter was the last encounter?

Because I would never leave myself vulnerable to him again as long as I lived.

14

NOAH

“Thanks for checking on me, Dad,” I grumbled, tapping my fingers on the steering wheel and asking myself why I hadn’t taken the private jet instead of driving.

Traffic was a nightmare on the way into East Hampton.

“Hey, don’t blame me,” Colton insisted, his voice filling the car’s interior. “It was your sister who made me call to check on you. Everybody else is here already. She worried you were in an accident.” He chuckled before adding, “I told her it was more likely you got distracted by some hot redhead.”

I couldn’t bring myself to laugh at my best friend’s joke. “Don’t send out the search parties for me. I’m stuck in traffic, is all. You said everyone’s already there?”

“The whole group. We’re planning a bonfire out on the beach tonight. Lucian and Evan went out to make sure we were stocked with everybody’s favorite booze. The girls are excited about making us a big dinner.”

All of the girls? If I asked, he would know something was off. Normally, having the group at my parents’ estate for the weekend would be a no-brainer. I would be there in a heartbeat, especially now that Colton spent so much time with my sister. Rose probably felt the same way about a weekend with her girls, hence the reason for her bullying all of us into coming out.

What a shame Sienna was one of the girls.

“Get here in one piece!” Rose shouted from somewhere nearby.

“Will do,” I assured her before ending the call.

If Sienna were a no-show, I would’ve heard about it by now. There was no way around it—we’d have to see each other.

I would’ve looked forward to it if it wasn’t for the way she broke down in her office.

My fingers tapped faster than before as the car inched down the 495. This gave me time to think, even if sitting in an endless line of vehicles was about as much fun as having my teeth pulled.

This would be the first time I saw or spoke to her since the disaster three days ago.

I shouldn’t have done it. How was I supposed to know she would take it the way she did? There I was, thinking we would have something in common, a shared secret, that we might even…

I shook my head at the ridiculousness, growling when the thought entered my mind again. We could even get together again without the disguises this time.

She could’ve given me the chance to explain myself. That, I couldn’t forgive. I’d wanted to tell her how surprised I was when I realized who I had just fucked, that she didn’t have to worry, and it would be our secret. She could trust me. Let’s face it, I had as much to lose as she did if word of my extracurricular activities got out.

Sienna wouldn’t give me the chance because she’d decided I wasn’t worth it a long time ago. I could almost consider thanking her for setting me straight. I’d allowed my dick to think for me yet again, and it left me with the stupid idea that we could take our physical relationship outside the club.

I was supposed to know better than that and be beyond sleeping with the same woman more than once. After a few failed attempts at something close to relationships in college, I’d made the same decision my friends had—there was nothing to be gained from being tied down.

Colton had since changed his mind, but that didn’t make a difference. We couldn’t all find a special someone.

By the time I turned my Bentley onto the familiar wide driveway leading up to the mansion, it was well past seven o’clock, and night had fallen. A crisp night, clear skies, good for a bonfire. What a shame I wouldn’t be able to enjoy it.

When all was said and done, no matter how wrong it was and how I questioned what the fuck had happened to my brain, there was no avoiding the truth. I couldn’t forget what happened between us.

Hell, I didn’t want to.

I wasn’t going to give up the way Sienna expected. Not when it was so fucking good. Not only for me, either. She couldn’t deny what I did to her body. She couldn’t pretend it was easy to walk away from that.

---