“Put me in this position. Kylie is a good person. She doesn’t deserve for the guy she’s dating to be locked in a room with the girl he can’t get over.”

“Then you shouldn’t be with her in the first place. It’s been like three weeks. Just tell her,” I beg.

“She wants to be with me, Soph. Without any bullshit. Or lies. Or kissing other guys.”

“But . . .” My voice is small and lacking any confidence. I don’t know what to do with this. I know it’s not fair for me to be mad that he met someone else when I made him feel like he couldn’t trust me. But it feels like he’s being ripped away from me, and the vice grip around my heart is making it hard to breathe. “Cooper,” I cry, desperate for him to hear me before it’s too late.

“Look, Soph.” His hands lock on either side of my face, and it takes all of my effort not to lean into him. “I appreciate the honesty. It’s all I wanted from you from the beginning. It’s what we promised each other. But I don’t know.” He sighs, and I study his pained eyes, the blue in them lighter than normal, like life has been drained from them. “Every day I see the image of you kissing JT when I thought you only wanted to kiss me. And you slept with him. You gave him the one thing you said you only wanted me to have. I can’t unsee it, and I don’t know how to get over it.”

“Be with me. It’ll go away. I’ll show you, Coop.” I lean closer, our faces inches apart. He doesn’t retreat, but he doesn’t lean in either.

The door beside us rattles when someone jiggles the knob. I keep my eyes locked on Cooper, but after holding my gaze for a second, he looks toward the sound. Turning back, he sighs. “I can’t do this.”

“Right now? Or ever?” My heart squeezes at the thought that he might already be gone.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before he opens them again, dropping his hands from my face and stepping back. “I don’t know. But I know that I don’t want to fight with you. I hate it, and I can’t be here right now. I came with Kylie, and I need to go find her. Don’t make me a bad guy.”

All I want to do is continue to talk this out, but I know it won’t get me anywhere I want to be. “I’m sorry I pulled you away from her.” I sigh in defeat. My heart feels like it’s dissolving–like it has no reason to exist if it doesn’t belong to Cooper. It feels like part of him still believes in us. But is that one kiss with JT enough to keep him away?

Twisting the knob to pull open the bathroom door, he holds his hand out for me to leave. Guilt rushes through me for forcing this conversation on Cooper. The need I have for him over anything else is overwhelming. All I want to do is get out of this house and away from anything that reminds me how much love hurts and that Cooper might not stick around to make it feel differently again.

But leaving is the last thing I plan on.

Chapter twenty-eight

COOPER

NOW

The bathroom felt half as small with Sophie and her confessions in it, suffocating me like being trapped with ten too many sprays of bad perfume. The second she’s out of sight, I welcome a breath of new air before shutting the door.

What the hell just happened? I don’t know where the fuck that came from, but Jesus Christ, that girl could not have worse timing if she tried. I can’t tear my life apart based on one bathroom conversation with a drunk Sophie. Even if everything she said was true, I came here with Kylie, and I can’t just leave with someone else. Sophie had weeks to be transparent, and I won’t make a decision about us based on the one moment she decided to share the truth–conveniently the moment she saw me with another girl. I’m afraid to dig myself into a hole of false security. Maybe she’d make more promises and I’d believe her. But maybe she’d walk away again.

I splash cold water on my face and leave to take a walk around the block before I search for Kylie.

Thirty minutes later, I push open the front door of the house, closing it quickly to keep the outside chill where it belongs.

“Hey, baaaaby.” A drunken Kylie stumbles into me. She’s barefoot with her heels looped over her fingers.

“That was quick. I’m guessing you made a new friend?” I chuckle.

“Yup.” She hiccups. “A few. I may have had one too many shots. Whoops.”

I laugh as she stands on her toes to kiss me. Guilt hardly has time to take over because she nearly falls. I barely catch her with my hands around her waist and pull her to me. I can’t be here anymore knowing Sophie is here too. I’m too distracted. I don’t want to ditch Kylie. I don’t want to mislead her, either. Fuck. Should I give Kylie a chance? A drama free relationship would be nice for a change. “Do you want to get out of here?” I yell over the Michael Jackson song someone just turned up.

She looks at me with a smile that in an alternate timeline I might think is beautiful and perfect. “Are you trying to take advantage of me, Cooper? It’s only,” she pulls my hand from her waist to look at my watch, “10 p.m.! It’s practically the middle of the day!”

“I would never do such a thing.” I pull her focus to another kiss, forcing myself into the distraction.

“I know.” She giggles. “Look what I got.” She wiggles a condom in front of my face.

“Yeah, we aren’t using that.” I laugh, pulling it from her fingers and shoving it in the pocket of my windbreaker in case she needs proof for her list.

“Suit yourself.” She shrugs. “But yes, let’s go home. I only have one more thing on my list.” She scans the room. “OH PERFECT!” Kylie shrieks so loud it hurts my ears, and I squint like the sound is a blinding light. I follow her line of vision. “That girl I kissed earlier. Oh, and took like three shots with.” She points to Sophie who is dancing on top of the kitchen counter. “Do you think a counter counts as a table?”

I wonder if Sophie is purposely making a scene or if she’s actually trying to make progress on that list she has of her own. Of fucking course they both have an overlapping item on their lists. Girls and their damn lists. “A counter totally counts.” The second half of this night, I’m just going to pretend the first half didn’t happen. Tomorrow I’ll decide what to do about all of this. “Go get up there. But if I can see under your tutu, you’ll have a total of sixty seconds to dance before I drag you out of here.”

“Promise?” She grins and hands me her heels, and I know no matter what I’m getting out of here as quickly as possible.