Page 41 of Can We Just Be Happy Now?

“Yeah. Maci and I went to one a few weeks ago. A blackout party.”

“That’s my fraternity.”

“Oh, random. Do you live there?”

“No, my buddy and I have our own house off campus. You’re not seeing anyone from the party are you?” There’s a strict dicks before chicks policy among my brothers, and even if I’m not super close with all of them, I will always respect that.

“Nope. Free agent over here. But for the sake of not wasting either of our time, I am looking to be off the market. I’m over the new party, new guy life. I’m over the drama.”

I laugh at how much I relate. I spent my entire first two years of college with different girls in my bed trying to get Sophie out of my head, trying to convince myself I hadn’t already found the one. “I feel that.”

“Dating is exhausting.”

“Yeah, it’s easier to lower your standards,” I joke.

“Oh, yeah. What’s your bare minimum requirement?” she asks.

“You aren’t one of those people who clap when the plane lands, are you?”

Kylie laughs. “Definitely not.”

“What about string cheese? Do you string it or bite it?”

“There’s people who bite it?” She covers her mouth, lurching slightly forward like she’s going to throw up.

I laugh, happy with her reaction. “Good enough for me.” I glance into her nearly empty cup. “Do you want another drink?”

“Yeah, I do.” Her green eyes shimmer when they connect with mine, and I fight my brain on wishing it was Sophie looking back at me. “Oh, and by the way, if I don’t bore you out of your mind tonight, I promised Maci a double date. Sorry.” She shrugs, not looking sorry at all.

Chuckling, I pull her cup from her hand. “As long as I get one to myself first.” I’m not confident in my ability to commit to someone else, but I’ll try. A double date, though . . . with my ex’s brother? That doesn’t sound like a recipe for success.

Chapter twenty-three

SOPHIE

NOW

Curled up on a pillowy black recliner reading on Christmas afternoon should feel perfect. The crackling logs in the fireplace have provided a consistent quiet soundtrack as they transition from wood to charcoal. The flames warm the left side of my body and my cheeks burn with the color they’ve brought to them. It doesn’t always snow in December here, but light flurries flutter through the air on the other side of the Montgomery’s living room window.

It should be perfect.

But as I stare into the mesmerizing flickers of orange and yellow, all I can think about is how nothing is perfect without Cooper in my life.

I’m not sure where he is, but it’s probably for the best. Seeing him only makes my heart ache more than it already does. Part of me wishes I had been more open with my family about our relationship. Maybe then they wouldn’t have made me spend the holiday here–even though we do every year. It’s not that I ever tried to hide it, but I think because Dad isn’t the easiest person to talk to about this kind of thing, I never went out of my way to bring it up with anyone. Mom knows the most, but even then, she doesn’t know everything. She thinks I’m fine because JT was around for a while.

My fingers run over the page I’m on. I like being alone, but that’s different than feeling lonely. That emptiness is consuming me as I sit here on the outside of the party. Our moms are drinking wine on the couch. Our dads are at the poker table set up on the side of the living room opposite me, playing with Troy and Carter. Everyone else is happy.

With a sigh, I close my book, retreating to the kitchen for a soda.

Reaching for a glass for my Squirt, I freeze. On the other side of the wall I hear Cooper, where he must be sitting at the dining room table. It’s been so weird hearing his voice again. I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed it in the past month since the JT debacle, since I tried to explain I want him back. I haven’t figured out how to make this right if he won’t talk to me, so I’ve done nothing.

“So, Costa Rica. Should be fun. Are you excited?” Dean graduated two quarters early, and he’s moving to Costa Rica for the next year. He was originally planning on Honduras, but after we went there for Thanksgiving vacation and talked to a few locals, he ended up changing his mind. Either way, it’ll be cool I bet–not that I’d be brave enough to go on my own. My brother and I both love adventure, but outside of what I’ve forced myself to do because of the list, I tend to read about it in books instead of living it.

“Yeah.” Dean’s word hold emotions opposite to the excitement he had sharing about his plans around the parents earlier.

“Are you sure about that?” Cooper senses his shift. “Sad to leave Maci? What are you two going to do? Long distance?” Oh yeah, I forgot Dean has a girlfriend. He never talks about her, at least not to me. Though, I can’t be mad. It’s not like I’ve told him the details of Cooper or JT. I crack the top of my Squirt, pouring it quickly into my glass so I don’t miss out on eavesdropping over the soda cracking the ice.

There’s a long pause before Dean speaks. “No.”

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