Page 3 of Can We Just Be Happy Now?

“That’s not what it looks like.” Sophie wouldn’t let just anyone bring her this far out of her comfort zone, even for the list. She wouldn’t be illegally drinking in a bar if she wasn’t trying to impress someone. She doesn’t even like being around this many people. “He’s bad news.”

“You don’t know him. You’re just mad at yourself, and you need to stop taking your mistakes out on me.”

“Jesus Christ, Sophie. You’re gonna believe this jerk you’ve known for five minutes over someone you’ve known your whole life? I’m telling you, he doesn’t give a shit past getting under your sundress.”

“Like you wouldn’t say anything to get under it,” she snaps with an uncharacteristic snark.

I scoff. “Really, Soph?” She and I both know that’s not true. “We wouldn’t be in this fucking situation if that’s all I wanted from you.”

She opens her mouth like she’s going to retort but then closes it. I stare back into eyes that are no longer familiar. There’s nothing left to say because even though I’d do anything to get my Sophie back, the girl in front of me is not her.

Without another word, I twist my tennis shoes on this fucking ugly green and brown carpet and walk away from this stranger, praying this time I’ll be strong enough not to come back.

Chapter two

SOPHIE

NOW

“Hey, Squirrel.” I cringe at the nickname JT addresses me with when he returns to where I’ve been waiting for him at the bar. The weight of his arm suffocates me as he flings it around my shoulder.

“Hey.” Running the end of a curl repeatedly between my thumbs and forefingers, I try to ignore the emotion coursing through me from my argument with Cooper a few minutes ago. I knew there was a possibility I’d run into him, but I wasn’t prepared for the way it shook me–and not just from the way he practically launched himself at me. His closeness reminded me how hard these two months without him have been. But the way his rage possessed him also made it clear he’s not taking what I said to heart.

“You ready to get out of here?” JT tugs me toward the door with his grip around my neck.

“Yeah.” As I slide off the barstool and my feet hit the floor, the last shot we took infiltrates my thoughts, blurring them like leaves swirling in a gust of wind. I’ve never had even a sip of alcohol–I’ve never had the urge. But when JT asked me to hang out tonight and showed up with a fake ID for me, I felt like I couldn’t say no.

We met by chance two months ago, and I assumed he’d eventually lose interest when I didn’t put out. He hasn’t, though. He’s continued to do nice things for me, and I’m starting to think he might really like me. The day we met was a total coincidence. I thought I hit something while I was driving–possibly a squirrel, hence the ridiculous nickname–and he pulled over to help me. He convinced me to take my car to his mechanic shop so he could check it out for free. I had been a little hesitant but felt it was better than following my instinct to call Cooper and hoping he’d be there for me after I had so recently told him I needed time apart. Ever since, JT and I have been sporadic friends. I’ll meet him during his lunch break between my classes sometimes. He always pays and never tries to cross the boundaries I’ve set in terms of a physical relationship.

I try to sit again to brace myself from the slight spinning of the room, but JT keeps pulling me toward the door. Am I drunk? Is three shots all it takes? Is that what made me so on edge with Cooper? No. He makes me on edge, acting like such a know-it-all and trying to control me. It’s the way he thinks life is simple and we can just be together and it’ll all work out even though I don’t trust him. He treats me like I’m the naive one when in reality it’s him.

“You alright?” JT laughs, and I can’t tell if it’s a genuine concern or if he’s making fun of me.

“Yeah. Can you take me home?” I pause in the doorway when the cold November Oregon air hits my skin with a wave of sobriety that breaks as fast as it came to make way for another hit of drunkenness. For the first time, I regret not taking Mom and Dad up on their offer to let me move into the dorms even though we only live ten minutes from campus. “Actually, can I stay over?” I don’t want my parents to know I’ve been drinking. They’ve always been comfortable with Dean and me drinking before we were twenty-one as long as we’re safe, but JT made such a good impression on them at the football game yesterday. I don’t want them to think I’m making bad choices with who I hang out with. I’m not.

I hadn’t even planned on inviting him to the game, but at the last minute, Dean said he wasn’t coming with us. My parents told me to bring a friend like I had an entire roster full of them. Besides Cooper, I only spend time with my best friend Chastity. She already had plans, and I couldn’t stand to seem like a loser to Dad–especially since he’s constantly driving home how important it is for me to make the most of college. JT was the only person I could think might want to spend the afternoon with me, and he did. Or at the very least, he was down for a free football game. Either way, we had a good time.

“No,” he says coolly, unlocking the passenger side door of his lifted ‘50s style convertible and opening it for me. This car had so much potential, but then he had to ruin a classic. The body sits well above the tires, and it looks ridiculous. If it wasn’t for that, I would love it. It reminds me of the one painted outside of my favorite diner in town. A flood of memories rushes through me of one of my and Cooper’s favorite spots, but I fight the urge to think about how much I miss him and redirect my attention. Why did JT even bother locking his car if he left the top off?

“Oh, okay,” I whisper, keeping my eyes focused on my hands in my lap once I’m seated on the white leather. Maybe I can sneak into the house without waking my parents. I should have just stayed home and read instead of letting my book call to me from my purse all night. Of course Chastity had to call right when JT’s text came through. It’s a curse and a blessing that her assertiveness rubs off on me when she pep talks me long enough.

JT walks to the driver’s side of the car, hopping over the door instead of opening it. “Don’t look so sad, Squirrel. You made it clear we’re just friends. I’m trying to respect that.” He turns the key in the ignition, and the car roars to life. He glances at me, his wrist resting on the steering wheel as he leans against the seat. The street lamp casts a glow across his face. He’s not Cooper, but he’s appealing in the “bad boy” sort of way, and even though he’s never crossed a physical line, he’s made it clear that he’s attracted to me. I didn’t plan on sleeping with him, but I’m supposed to take advantage of everything college life has to offer. Right now it’s offering me a hunky man, and I shouldn’t waste an opportunity to end the night feeling better than the way Cooper left me. Plus, Cooper has experienced other people, so I should too.

“Sometimes friends stay over, don’t they?” I lock my gaze on him when he takes his eyes off the road for a moment, hoping he catches my drift. Cooper needs to get it through his head that he can’t control my life and that he doesn’t always know what I want.

“Sometimes,” he says with hesitation, forcing his attention back to the street. A smirk tugs on his lips. “Alright.” He pulls out his phone and sends a message before sliding it back into his pocket and turns down the next street.

Twisting my ponytail around my hand, I attempt to keep it from tangling as the cold night air whips around me on the dark backroad drive to JT’s house. Goosebumps cover every inch of my skin, and I will myself to not visibly shake. JT doesn’t appear cold at all, and I don’t want to come off like a baby. It would probably be different if I was his girlfriend, but I’m not, and I don’t want to be. That’s not part of the plan. But still, even when we aren’t together, Cooper always checks if I’m comfortable when we drive anywhere. I can’t compare my friendships to him, though. That’s unfair, especially since most men didn’t have a mom like Melissa raising them to have perfect manners–although she clearly never taught him how to handle a breakup. Managing his temper has always fallen on my shoulders.

As if he’s reading my mind, JT’s hand lands on my thigh, the warmth of his body spreading through mine as his hand slowly slides up my skin. By the time we pull into his driveway, the cool air has nearly sobered me up, nerves replacing my buzz. I can’t decide if I enjoy the feeling of being drunk yet, but I already know my mind feels chaotic as the alcohol wears off. He leads me inside his house through a door in the garage, flicking on the kitchen light.

Scanning the room connected to the kitchen, I take in his place for the first time. There’s not a lot to it–a worn black leather couch in front of a big screen TV that’s longer than the stand it sets on. His gaming console is on the carpet in front of it, surrounded by a couple of controllers. A giant neon Budweiser sign is lit up on the wall by the window. It’s so tacky, but he can afford to live on his own, and I can’t say the same, so who am I to judge?

The suction of the freezer door opening draws my attention back to JT. “Drink?” he offers as he pulls out a bottle of tequila.

The jury is still out on whether or not I like being drunk, but right now I need to feel anything besides my longing for Cooper. “Yeah, I’ll have one.” Or three.

Chapter three

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