Page 26 of Can We Just Be Happy Now?

Arranging the charcuterie board mindlessly, I observe my dad and JT sitting on the couch, deep in conversation about the football game on TV. Mom ran to the store, so I’m standing here awkwardly, unsure how to act. I invited JT to a football game with us before Thanksgiving–as friends. He and Dad hit it off so well that I guess Dad invited him over to watch the away game today. Since my family has been in Central America for the past week, this is the first time I’ve seen JT since we slept together. I don’t want to see him. I definitely don’t want Dad forming some kind of bond with him, but he seems set on it considering he somehow got ahold of him without even asking me.

JT glances over his shoulder like he can sense me thinking about him, and when he catches me staring he shoots a wink my way before turning back to my dad. It feels like I’ve been inserted into a movie scene that I don’t belong in, and I wonder for the hundredth time how I ended up here.

When my dad abandons his spot on the couch–probably to get beer from the cooler in the garage–JT makes his way to me in the kitchen. “Hey, Squirrel,” he says, reaching for an apple chunk from my board on the kitchen island next to me and plopping it in his mouth. He’s been so occupied by my dad, I’ve hardly been near him since he arrived.

“Hey,” I whisper. I don’t like that he’s invaded this aspect of my life, a place that only feels right for Cooper.

Bracing one hand against the island, and shoving the other through my curls, he pulls my lips to his. I lose my breath from the way his kiss catches me off guard. It’s different from the way it’s hard to breathe when Cooper’s lips touch mine. I push the thought of my ex away, feeling my blood pump through my veins thinking about how he didn’t even give me the chance to talk to him. He’s been waiting for me to forgive him, and now that I’m ready, he doesn’t want to hear it. Annoyed by Cooper’s hot and cold, and not having the energy to argue more right now, I lean into JT’s kiss, my hands pressing into his chest–it’s a good kiss.

He pulls back slightly before kissing me softly once more then brings his lips to my ear. “Mmm, I can’t wait for the things I’m going to do to you later.” Yeah, that’s not going to happen, but I’ll make that clear on his way out the door. His hand trails down my back until he squeezes my ass. Giving it a light tap, he turns back to my cheese board as if the past few minutes didn’t happen.

“This looks good, Squirrel. Thank you. Are you coming to watch the game with us?”

“Yeah.” I give him my best smile, hoping he can’t tell I’m faking it.

Chapter fifteen

COOPER

NOW

As soon as Sophie retreats to her house, sliding the glass door behind her, I turn back to the woods. I’m not ready to go inside and get the third degree from my mom. For some reason, she’s been asking how things between Sophie and me are a lot more than usual.

My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I pull it out, assuming it’s Troy telling me he’s on his way over to watch the game. A picture of Sophie skateboarding when she was sixteen lights the screen. She’s wearing my favorite pink sundress, looking over her shoulder, smiling at me, reaching out her hand which was holding mine as we glided down the street by our houses. How did we get from that to this?

I decline the call. A few seconds later her text comes through.

Sophie: Please, can we talk after the game? You’re misunderstanding things.

I toss my phone onto Sophie’s pink chair and sink into my blue one, the hinge held together with duct tape. Why does everything have to be ten times harder than it should be with us? It used to be so easy. I stare mindlessly into the trees, only distracted by the flicker of movement from Sunshine abandoning her perch on the birdhouse and leaving me alone.

I stay outside–hoping the fresh air will clear my head–until Troy gets here. Making my way back inside, I glance at the Porter’s house. Through the kitchen window, I can see Sophie standing next to the island doing something–probably making a cheese board for the game. She loves those things. I should go talk to her. I don’t see JT, so maybe she was being honest. Maybe he is there to see her dad.

With my first step toward her house, JT comes into my line of sight. I freeze. They are just talking. Maybe she did tell the truth.

Then I watch him take a step closer to her.

I watch his hand grip her neck and pull her to him.

I watch them kiss.

And I watch Sophie lean into it.

Me: I’m not misunderstanding anything.

Searching for the nearest thing I can break, I pick up my blue chair. A loud crack echoes through the trees as it snaps against the wood, the duct tape I had used on its previous break no longer holding it together.

Leaving my chair in shambles, I walk away from it and the small thread of hope I had for our relationship. Even though we didn’t define it, I thought we were on a break. Clearly I’ve been in denial. If she’s not serious about us, I refuse to be serious about her. With a new determination, I plan my focus for anything besides the image of Sophie kissing someone else and catching her in a lie. I’ll ask Dad for more responsibility at work. I’ll spend more time with my little brother in the fraternity and pick up extra volunteer hours. What I need to do is go fuck another girl. Eventually, I’ll forget about everything Sophie and I could have been if she had meant what she said.

Chapter sixteen

SOPHIE

THEN

Cooper, 18; Sophie, 16

“Morning, Mom!” Skipping the bottom two steps, I jump onto the kitchen floor and skip toward her. The front door clicks open in the entryway behind me, and I assume it’s Cooper without looking to check. Excitement bubbles inside me like a book release day for my favorite author, anxious to immerse myself in a new story. “Where’s Dad?”

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