She shakes her head then leans against my chest again. “I never had the desire, I guess.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that. You shouldn’t do it with just anyone.”
“I know. I only want to do it with you.” No words come out of my mouth as I try to process what she said. To my surprise, she elaborates. “I don’t know how to describe it, Coop. I had the opportunity a few times, but it didn’t feel right. The moment I saw you today, it’s like that part of me unlocked.”
I’m the one to pull back this time, and her head falling off my shoulder forces her to sit up. I take her hands in mine, my heart racing. “You’re serious?” I don’t know what else to say because while I always held out a small hope we’d find our way back to each other once she got to college, I tried not to count on it.
She nods. “I want it to be you. I always have. I promised you all my firsts, and I don’t want to wait any longer. I’m ready.”
All I can do is stare.
I should be ripping off her dress.
Or cutting her words off with my mouth.
Or running my hands over her body to relearn every inch of it.
“Cooper?” She laughs uneasily. “Are you okay? If that’s not something you want, it’s okay. You can tell me. I know you’ve probably been with a lot of girls who are more experienced.”
“What? No. Sophie. Of course I want you. I want to pick up right where we left off.”
“Really?”
“Really.” I pause. “But not today, okay?” I don’t know why I’m not leaping at the opportunity in front of me, but I do know today isn’t the day. We’ve started building back what we had, but it’s going to take more than one day for me to trust she won’t leave again. Casual sex the past couple of years might have been easy for me, but sex with Sophie will be anything but casual. And I’m not sure how I’d handle her leaving again once we cross a line we can’t come back from.
“Okay.” There’s a hint of disappointment in her tone, but it doesn’t last long. She runs her fingers through the back of my hair, my head relaxing into her. “How’s Carter?”
Chapter forty-five
COOPER
THEN
“Hey, Mrs. Porter,” I say when Diane opens the door.
“Cooper!” she exclaims with so much excitement I can’t help but grin. “It’s been too long since I’ve seen you over here.” I’m not sure if she knows Sophie and I are dating again, but either way it makes me feel good she’s happy to see me.
“Yeah, it has,” I agree. “I was wondering if I could steal Sophie from you for the day?”
“Of course. She’s in her room, I think. What do you two have planned?”
“It’s a surprise.” I use that as an excuse. I’m unsure how she’ll feel about Sophie and I reconnecting, and I don’t want to push my luck. “We probably won’t be back until late, though. Do you mind if she stays at my house so we don’t wake you? Plus, I kind of have plans for us for tomorrow too.”
She hesitates, concern flashing across her face. “Sophie was devastated when you two broke up the first time.”
She was? It didn’t seem like it. I push the thought out of my head, not wanting to focus on the past, but I match her genuine distress. “I was too. Sophie and I are supposed to be together, though. We’re working through it.”
“You both are still so young, Cooper.” What does that have to do with anything? “You have a lot more experience than her now that you’ve been in college for a couple of years.” Ah. There it is.
I step inside the entryway, much more confident than the first time I had the I’m dating your daughter talk with her. “You know I would never intentionally hurt Sophie, and I would never make her do anything she’s not ready for.” Even if she claims she is. “We’re just getting to know each other again. We’re taking it slow. Really slow. I promise.” Hopefully she catches my drift.
“Okay,” she says hesitantly, but with more assurance adds, “I trust you to take care of my daughter.” The familiar words put me at ease.
“Thank you.”
Diane makes her way to the kitchen, and I take the stairs two at a time to get to Sophie’s room.
I enter quietly, leaning against the door frame with my hands in the pockets of my joggers as I watch her. She’s curled up facing away from me reading her book in sleep shorts and a tank top. I get a good three minutes of staring in before she notices me.