Page 25 of Can We Just Be Happy Now?

NOW

Cooper, 21; Sophie, 18

Leaning against the back of the couch in the front room, I try to manifest Cooper pulling into the driveway next door. Our flight didn’t land in Eugene until late last night, and I’ve been debating how to contact him all day.

As if the Universe is on my side for once, a black 4Runner pulls into the Montgomery’s driveway. A flash of the memory of Cooper teaching me how to drive two and a half years ago pops into my head. A smile at the recollection and a surge of panic war with themselves. I’m nervous, but I don’t want to miss this opportunity. He can’t hang up when he’s in front of me, like he did on our FaceTime call four days ago. I pull my phone from the coffee table.

Me: Meet me at our spot?

Me: Please.

I stare at our text thread full of one-sided blue bubbles from when I tried to convince him to call me back while I was in Honduras. The typing dots appear almost immediately and continue long enough for me to flip through all the different scenarios in my head.

Cooper: Ok.

I try to run through my speech, but the only thought in my head is wondering how hummingbirds can even breathe when their heart beats this fast. Somehow I make it to the woods behind our houses, reaching our chairs before Cooper. A little yellow bird chirps from where she’s perched on the feeder, unbothered by my presence. “Hey, Sunshine,” I say softly, and she chirps again.

“Hey.” Cooper’s voice comes from behind me, and I spin in the dirt to face him. My heart goes from a hundred miles an hour to flatline when I see him in front of me.

“Coop. Hey.”

“What’s up?” His hands are shoved into his hoodie pocket, and he remains a few feet away.

“Umm, I was hoping we could talk.”

“Okay. About what?”

“About us.”

He hesitates. “You meant what you said? That you were coming back to me?” There’s a war in his eyes between hopefulness and skepticism.

“Yes, of course I did. I’m done playing games with us. I want to be with you.”

He takes a step toward me, and my heart flutters. “I–”

“Sophie! JT is here!” My stomach lurches, knocking the flutter from my chest, as my dad yells from the back porch. What the hell is JT doing here? Feeling the blood drain from my face, my eyes shoot to his voice out of instinct, but I quickly look back at Cooper.

“Of fucking course,” he mutters under his breath and starts to walk away from me.

“Cooper, wait,” I beg. Sunshine’s chirp pierces the air as if she’s on my side, wanting him to stay too. My eyes flash to where she’s perched on the edge of the red feeder before they’re back on Cooper.

“What, Sophie?” His anger sends a shot of pain that I feel everywhere in my weakening body.

“I had no idea he was coming over.”

He scoffs. “Sure you didn’t. When are you going to stop lying and just admit that when you said you didn’t want a boyfriend right now, what you really meant is that you didn’t want me?”

“No–”

He inhales deeply, his eyes closing for the moment. “Look, I understand you’re not ready to let go of what I did, and you have every right to be upset. But I didn’t expect the process of forgiving me to involve you hooking up with other guys. I was willing to give you time, but I can’t watch you be with someone else.”

“But Cooper,” I beg again, wanting to explain the situation, wanting him to know I’m not choosing JT over him. Anyone else would always just be a placeholder.

“I’m not your boyfriend, Sophie, so this,” he flails his hand in chaotic circles in front of me, “is not my problem. You are not my problem anymore. Seriously, Sophie. Go.” The growl in his voice implies he actually means fuck off.

Watching him slip away from me jams up my thoughts. “No . . . he’s just . . . Dad must have invited him over,” I stumble over my words.

He holds my gaze for a moment. I’m frozen, not knowing what to say or how to make this better. He shakes his head and walks away, leaving me standing there calling out after him.

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