Page 14 of Can We Just Be Happy Now?

“She gave it to me.”

“But . . .”

“But I’m not going to use it.”

“Why not?” There’s annoyance in his voice.

“How does she do this? Being around anyone else doesn’t feel right. Maybe I could talk myself into it the first time, but that was when we were still kids. These aren’t teenage feelings anymore,” I admit with a frustrated groan.

He sighs. “It gets easier. Give it time.” He flags down the bartender for another round of drinks. I hope that’s all it takes. “Until then, focus on the fun of first dates. Someday you won’t have any more.”

I would have been fine if my very first one had been my last.

Chapter eight

COOPER

THEN

Cooper, 18; Sophie, 16

Stuck in my blue plastic chair, I scrub my hands up my face and through my hair. I didn’t turn around to watch her walk away. I know she didn’t run. I could tell by the way the leaves crunched slowly under her feet until she got to the grass of her backyard. But she still walked away. Fuck. I don’t know what came over me. Maybe I should go after her. After talking to Troy, I panicked thinking about how I’ll be moving out in a few weeks. I know I’ll only be ten minutes away, but change is inevitable. I kept wondering if I would ever get a chance again if I didn’t take it now. Apparently, I don’t have a chance anyway.

I know Sophie, not enough to have predicted her reaction to this, but well enough to know the longer she sits with whatever she’s thinking, the more she’ll panic or pull away. I dig my phone out of the front pocket of my jeans.

Me: I’ll see you tomorrow, right? For B & B?

Sophie forced me to watch this show–Beauty & the Beast—with her when it came out almost two years ago. I thought it would be some chick flick I’d hate, but there’s a ton of action, and I’m kind of hooked–not that I’d tell any of my friends. Now it’s our tradition on Thursday nights to watch new episodes.

Sophie: I don’t know . . .

Me: I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. It was stupid.

Sophie: It’s not stupid. I like that we can tell each other stuff. I just panicked.

Me: Understandable. I crossed a line. Please don’t let things get weird. We can talk about it if you want, or I promise I’ll never bring it up again.

A full minute passes without so much as typing bubbles appearing in our thread.

Me: You have no reason to say no since you promised to forget whatever I said.

Sophie: It’s kind of hard to forget.

Me: Come on, Soph. You know you’re my excuse to watch without anyone razzing me. Don’t leave me hanging. I promise I’ll be totally normal.

Sophie: Okay.

Sophie: I’ll see you tomorrow.

I let out a rough breath. Thank god she didn’t reject me again. I was not prepared to go down that path. I got ahead of myself, envisioning what life down a different road could have been like.

The Goldfinch that frequently visits our birdhouse chirps in a way that feels like a lecture. “Yeah, I know I’m an idiot, Sunshine,” I mutter to the bird.

Chapter nine

COOPER

THEN

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