Page 106 of Can We Just Be Happy Now?

Exhaling a breath and a sigh, I admit, “Honestly, no. I get so frustrated with her sometimes. I don’t want to, though.”

“The end goal isn’t to make sure you both are always better than the day before. It’s not possible. The goal is to stay the course, to show up every day and to know you will have off days. You have to focus on the bigger picture and the end goal. You have to focus on what will bring you growth rather than dwell on the small things that make it easy to tear you apart.”

I lean against the back of the bar chair. “Sometimes I feel like she’s self-sabotaging. She says she wants us to be together, but her actions don’t always align. Somehow she feels further away every time she takes a step closer. That doesn’t make sense.” I shake my head. “How did Mom believe you were going to fix everything? I’m worried I’m always going to resent her for the times she didn’t show up for me how I needed her. And if I can’t let that go, how can I be there for her?”

“If you’re both committed to making it work, you’ll figure it out.”

“You and Mom make it look easy. It’s like you can read each other’s minds. I feel like I used to be able to read Sophie so well, but somewhere along the line that ability went away.”

He chuckles. “That’s just practice and time.”

“I’ve known her for almost two decades. How much time does it take?”

“It’s not the same. It’s different when you live with someone, when you have to make major life decisions with them that involve being on the same page–when being in sync directly affects whether you sink or swim.”

“How will I know if we can do this without drowning?”

“You’ll know, son.” He reaches across the small high top table to squeeze my shoulder. I hope he’s right.

Chapter sixty-four

COOPER

THEN

Cooper, 20; Sophie, 18

The string lights draped over the patio at Sweet Cheeks Winery enhance the magic for everyone celebrating love tonight at Mom and Dad’s 25th wedding anniversary party. I was able to convince Sophie that everything was fine at the barbeque two days ago, but I have successfully avoided her since, thus evading my dilemma. She found me as soon as she got here, but my parents needed me, and I’ve somehow made it through cocktail hour without running into her.

Grabbing a beer at the open bar, I scan the white linen covered tables for my girlfriend. The crackle of the microphone draws my attention from where I stand in the back corner.

“Hi, everyone,” my mom says, a patio full of people giving her their full attention. “Thank you all so much for coming to celebrate Mike and me. Our lives are fuller because of each one of you. But this guy right here,” she leans into Dad and he wraps his arm around her, “I wouldn’t have all of you if I didn’t have him first. As many of you know, when Mike and I met, we went to rival colleges, neither of us owned a car or a cell phone, and yet, here we are. What most of you don’t know is that we almost ended before we truly began. When I ran into him for the second time–”

My dad tugs on her hand bringing the microphone toward him. “When you stalked me like a crazy person until you found me.” Everyone laughs and my dad releases the speaking power back to his wife.

“As I was saying, when I magically ran into him by the forces of the Universe, I had an entire group of friends try to talk me out of it. Maybe they were tired of driving to Eugene every weekend–we all know the parties are better at Oregon State.” Half the crowd boos while the other half cheers. “Eventually, I started taking the bus.”

“Until you made me buy a car,” Dad chimes in.

“Without that car we wouldn’t have Carter.” She’s not embarrassed by the implication at all. Everyone looks to where my brother is leaning against a high top table, his champagne glass raised to the air, taking in the attention like it’s a compliment to him.

“My point is, life will always try to get in the way. But having your person is like a guarantee you’ll always be able to get through any obstacle you face.”

Dad takes the microphone. “When you know, you know. Even at eighteen, I knew the moment I left you at that concert that if I found you again, I’d never let you go. I just wasn’t smart enough to figure out how to find you.”

“To me,” Mom says, looking at my dad like she’ll never fall out of love with him, “and my stalking abilities.”

“To Mike and Melissa,” someone in the crowd yells and everyone raises their glass.

A shadow crosses the table I’m standing next to. I look up as I pull my beer to my lips.

“Quite lucky, your parents,” Jack says.

“It has nothing to do with luck,” I retort, avoiding eye contact and letting my eyes scan the patio again in search of Sophie.

“They’re the exception, son. Life doesn’t just magically hand you the right person when you’re too young to do the right things with them.”

My scan is halted when I spot Sophie, leaning against a table on the opposite side of the patio. She’s talking to a guy I vaguely recognize–a son of one of my mom’s friends. Jack follows my gaze. “Ian. He took Sophie to prom.”

---