Page 57 of Blaze of Our Lives

“Umm… yes. Her name is Shitty Whore,” I explained, still observing Shaun Cassidy’s every move.

Again, there was a gasp from the peanut gallery. The only person who seemed unoffended was the Mad Hatter, who had an uncanny resemblance to Candy Vargo. He just laughed.

I didn’t understand the game being played here, and the rules were unclear. It felt, if possible, even more dangerous than the obstacle course.

“Just get right to it,” Pandora urged. “Mention the Higher Power. See how they react.”

I patted my stomach to let her know I’d heard her. The Cheshire Cat took that as me being hungry. He immediately filled a plate with food and shoved it in front of me. I really wanted to eat the strawberry tart, but this group was so whackadoo, I wouldn’t risk it. I nodded my thanks and stood up. What I needed to do was to get Shaun Cassidy alone so he could drop the act. I wasn’t buying it.

“Wizard of Snoz,” I said with a polite curtsy. “Do you have a castle I could see? I’ve heard it’s lovely.”

“Oh yes!” Shaun Cassidy said, jumping to his feet. “I shall take you to the throne room. Very impressive.”

“Perfect,” Pandora hissed. “That’s the room where Oz was exposed as a hack.”

I wasn’t sure how that was perfect, but I’d ask when I wasn’t surrounded by strange characters.

The climax of the party was around the corner. I could feel it in my bones.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Everything was green. The sky was green. The sun was green. The road and all the buildings were green. The Snozians that we passed as we walked to the Palace wore green from head to toe. I wanted desperately to describe the scene to Pandora, but there were too many people around. The Cheshire Cat, the White Rabbit and the Mad Hatter flanked Shaun Cassidy and let no one come near him.

As we walked, the people of the capital of Snoz dropped to their knees and sang the chorus of “Are You Afraid of Me”—one of Shaun Cassidy’s songs. It was surreal, hilarious and disturbing, especially when they got to the part about being with him forever.

“Something feels incredibly off,” Pandora said.

Using my crappy ventriloquist skills and keeping my voice low, I answered. “Agreed. I find it strange that Shaun Cassidy can’t hear you.”

“Don’t be so sure he can’t. The Higher Power isn’t the Higher Power for no reason. It’s wily and dangerous. Do not underestimate It.”

“Okay.” I was so glad she was with me. Of course, I wouldn’t be here if she wasn’t with me, but still… “I’m going to corner him in the throne room.”

“It will be interesting to see if he goes behind the curtain.”

“Why? What curtain?” I asked.

Pandora grunted her displeasure with my lack of knowledge. “Don’t you remember, idiot?”

“Obviously, I don’t, or I wouldn’t have asked, Shitty Whore.”

“Fine. The Wizard of Oz was just a loser from some small, rinky-dink, redneck town. He projected a big scary face onto the wall and fucked with everyone. Dorothy’s dog discovered the asshole, self-proclaimed Wizard, who wasn’t a Wizard at all, behind the curtain and exposed him. Dorothy gave that jackhole a piece of her mind then beat the shit out of him.”

My nose scrunched, and my forehead creased. “I really don’t remember Dorothy beating the shit out of the Wizard.”

“Maybe I made that up,” Pandora admitted with no shame at all. “However, if she didn’t, she should have.”

“Right,” I said. “We’re here.”

“Be the badass, Cecily. You have to be the badass.”

She was correct. I just wasn’t sure how.

The castle was basically what I recalled from the movie. We were definitely in a twisted mashup of Alice in Wonderland and The Wizard of Oz. I was happy I hadn’t mentioned any other movies back at my house. This was confusing enough.

“Come this way!” Shaun Cassidy squealed, leading the group to two intricately carved wooden doors that were several stories high. “We’re about to enter the throne room!”

The Cat, the Hat, and the Rabbit grew wary and looked around nervously as if searching for an escape route. Their behavior raised my anxiety level, but I kept a bland and pleasant expression plastered on my face.

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