Page 51 of Blaze of Our Lives

“I could seriously do without some of the pain.”

The searing pain as the spike embedded itself in my arm was as awful as before. This time, I didn’t try to remove it. There was no removing it. I’d wasted time trying the last go around. I wouldn’t do that again.

“Do you need me to shout at you to make it easier?” Pandora asked, sounding slightly out of control.

I didn’t even have to think about it. “Absolutely. Do it.”

“My pleasure,” she assured me. “Do it, you shitass! Rip your fucking arm off. DO NOT be a wimpy-assed pussy. Do not think about it. Do not pass go. Do not pick up the measly two hundred dollars. Just detach your damned arm. NOW!”

What struck me the most was that Pandora played Monopoly. I was sure she cheated. The thought made me grin. I was about to rip my own arm off and my mind was occupied with wondering if Pandora hid Monopoly money under the board when no one was looking. Win-win for the self- professed cheater.

“Arm dismemberment on track,” I announced.

As before, I let my brain go primitive. My desire to save us outweighed the horror of leaving a literal piece of me behind. When I got to the Higher Power, I was going to remove Its arms… if It had arms. Imagining myself ripping Shaun Cassidy’s appendages off with my bare hands, I lurched forward. The sound of my arm being ripped from my body was just as gross as it had been the first time. The Shitty Whore definitely gasped. As the tendons and arteries tore, it felt like a searing hot knife took a swim through every vein in my body. The skin was the least painful. It tore like paper.

I never wanted to do that again. Ever.

Feeling light-headed and very much insane, I spared a moment to look at my arm. It hung limply on the wall, held up by the spike just like before. It looked sad and lonely. I liked that arm, but luckily, I didn’t need that arm. “Arm, come to me. I need you.”

Pandora’s arm came much faster than her leg. Possibly because it was smaller. I tested out the fingers and smiled wide when they worked. Pandora’s hand had a full-on manicure with long red nails. I, on the other hand, kept my nails short and unpolished. It looked odd, but I didn’t care.

“Fuck you, Phyllis. Fuck you, Heff Brobst. But mostly, fuck you, Shaun Cassidy,” I shouted as I made my way out of the maze. Last time, I’d been down to one arm and one leg short of a full body. This time, I was Frankensteining it. I was the proud owner of a mish-mash of body parts. I was part Pandora and part me, and I loved it, no matter how off it looked. We were making this course our bitch, and we were going to win.

“You have my arm?” she asked.

“I have your arm,” I confirmed. “Nice manicure.”

“Thank you,” she replied.

Her manners were improving. “Welcome. Ready for the sea monsters?”

“The question is, are they ready for us?”

“How about we find out?”

“Lets!”

Getting to the button was easy. The bridge dropped. It was a good three feet or so above the murky water below. This could be a piece of cake or not.

I was leaving ‘or not’ in the past. This time I was going to get my freaking cake.

“Bridge is down. It’s still forty feet long. So far, I don’t see any hungry sea monsters.”

“You know they’re in there,” she reminded me.

“Yep,” I said, walking back from the edge of the bridge. “I can fly long distances?”

“Spot where you want to land,” she instructed. “As long as you can see the endpoint, you can get there.”

“Do you think the bastards in the bleachers will freak?”

“Absolutely,” she replied with a growl. “However, if Heff the Loser didn’t lie, the box with the final puzzle and its combination is at the end of the bridge. All we have to do is get the box open, solve the puzzle, and the directions to the Higher Power are ours!”

“Don’t forget the box might be explosive,” I cautioned my enthusiastic partner.

“Not a problem,” she assured me. “If it starts to blow, just say ‘extinguish.’ It will snuff out the explosion.”

“Is that your magic?” I asked, amazed.

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