Page 39 of Blaze of Our Lives

It was time to do a little acting. That was one talent I definitely had. The party was just starting to get good.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

“One minute until everyone DIES! Heff Brobst bellowed gleefully through a bullhorn while seated in the bleachers. Phyllis sat next to him. She had three cigarettes going and looked strangely relaxed. The talking ashtray was batshit and then some.

“What a dick,” Brolrath grumbled as he beat his chest, pretending to intimidate his competitors.

“Word,” I muttered as I taunted him with my purple fire sword.

The tribal music blasted through invisible speakers. I could feel the drumbeat vibrate throughout my body. The vulture-like birds in the trees seemed very interested in the outcome of the game. My guess was that they were prepared to ingest the remains of the dead. That wasn’t anywhere on my agenda. With a wiggle of my fingers, I muzzled the scavengers. They were pissed. I’d be more pissed if they ate the green goo that belonged to my new friends. Small victories would lead to a big win. I was counting on that.

“What did you just do? I felt the magic.” Pandora commented as I menacingly circled the guys. It was hard not to smile, but I was in character. I would play it like the pro I was.

“I muzzled the flying freaks in the trees,” I told her as I watched Ezzanod trip Drogruzun and kicked him in the head. These dudes were going method. “I’m taking no chances that the birds will eat my buddies when they’re dead. Not sure the guys would come back from that.”

“Did you ever think you’d utter a sentence like that?” Pandora inquired.

I laughed and covered it with a cough. “No. And I hope I’m never in the situation to have to repeat it.”

“Never is a very long time, Cecily,” she replied. “Never say never. It’s bad luck.”

Again, with the sage advice.

“Thirty seconds,” Heff Brobst announced, doing a moonwalk that looked more like a doomwalk before transitioning into a cabbage patch that was more like a garbage pail flail. He might look like Abaddon, but Heff made it easy to separate the two of them in my mind. It was startling to realize that I didn’t need backup. So far, I was fine on my own. However, if I was being totally honest, which I liked to be, Pandora as my ride-or-die was imperative to our success.

“Get ready to rumble!” Pandora sang.

“Oh my god. Don’t tell me you watch pro wrestling,” I said, groaning. She hadn’t been joking when she said she couldn’t sing.

“I love it,” she said with a laugh. “It’s violent and hilarious—a win in my book.”

She was right. No one really got hurt, usually, and it was entertainment… just like the kind we were about to perform. The audience of two might not know it was a fictional show they were about to watch, but the actors did. That was all that mattered.

Glancing over at the guys, I pushed back against my sense of right and wrong. While it was wrong to kill, this case was an exception. I had their blessing, and it had been their idea. The fact that they’d regenerate in five minutes was the motivating factor in my being able to whack them. If it had been permanent, it would have been a hard no.

As I stomped past Drogruzun, I whispered to him. “Should I kill all of you at the same time or one at a time? Which would you prefer?”

His face was a scary mask of rage, but his words were that of a normal conversation—not that our conversation was even remotely normal—but it made sense in the strange situation.

“I’d suggest letting the Shitty Whore choose,” he told me as he growled in my face. “It’s a wonderful gesture to involve all of our friends.”

His breath was rank, but I didn’t comment. It would be rude. If there was time before I left, I’d look into getting the guys some scented soap, toothpaste and mouthwash.

“You know,” Pandora said. “I didn’t like that fucker in the beginning, but I quite like him now. I say you kill them all at once. That way, they won’t have to watch each other die. That can be traumatizing.”

My mouth formed a perfect O. Pandora was being humane and kind. Granted, we were discussing murder, but it was the thought that counted.

“The Shitty Whore says to kill everyone in one fell swoop. It’s less traumatizing,” I told him as I shoved him with my shoulder.

“Ahhh, yes! Please extend my sincerest thanks to the Shitty Whore. She is indeed a lovely woman.”

“She can hear you,” I said.

“Well, in that case, thank you, Shitty Whore. Your morality and care for others are superb! If you weren’t a figment of Bitch Goddess Cecily’s mental break, I’d like to take you out for a nice chicken dinner. People with your warm and kind humanity are rare in this world, and I commend you for it,” Drogruzun said, ending his thanks with a terrifying roar.

I could feel Pandora’s confusion and unease with the compliments. Everything Drogruzun had said went against who she believed herself to be.

“I’m not sure I like him anymore,” she huffed. “That was absolutely appalling.”

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