Page 28 of Blaze of Our Lives

When I didn’t say anything, she kept going. “I see this situation going one of two ways. One, you could be a wimpy-assed pussy, get stuck in a dream state and have sexual relations with fanged munchkins for eternity while doing your best to avoid the golf-cart-riding-ashtray named Phyllis. Or two, you could put on your big girl fucking panties and figure out what the obstacles are. With luck, we can get to whatever your version of the Higher Power is and it will get me out of you. And let me add, if I have to live inside you forever, I will make your life a living hell.”

Closing my eyes, I pressed my face against the bark of the tree. It was rough and probably putting weird dents into my forehead. I didn’t care. “Okay, ewww to banging munchkins. That’s repulsive. Phyllis might reek, but she didn’t try to kill me, so one point for her. And you’re already making my life a living hell. I don’t see how it would be much different.”

Pandora growled. The vibration of her fury made my toes tingle. “What do you want?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“What favor do you want? Money? Power? My subservience?” she asked harshly. “Name it. It’s yours.”

I shook my head. She didn’t get it. I barely got it. “I don’t want anything from you. Yes. I would like you out of me. You’re a pain in the ass, but I’m about to break. Not long ago, I was a forty-year-old human and former child star about to make my freaking comeback on a new hit TV show. It was only about a month ago that I found out I was a Demon. I’m not qualified to be a Demon Goddess. You feel me, jackass?”

“I have no interest in feeling you, imbecile. As appalling as it is, you’re a Goddess by birthright. Period. I’ve seen you fight. The power you possess infuriates me. It’s ridiculous that someone like you is so gifted. It should have taken you decades, if not centuries, to wield fire swords. And why you have two is fucking beyond me. You’re also a fool not to accept a favor from me. However, you are your mother’s daughter so that’s unsurprising. Lilith is as dimwitted and ill-advised as you are.” She paused and regrouped. I was pretty sure she was mortified that she’d paid me a few compliments in between insulting me. With an enormous put-upon sigh, Pandora continued. “But here’s the truth, it’s easy to break. It’s much harder to repair. If you chose to heal, you become stronger. You will never be unbreakable. No one is. If you don’t shatter you will never grow. Wisdom will elude you and you’ll end up a shell of who you could be. Fight for who you are meant to become.”

If there were bugs in this dream state, I would have caught a few in my wide-open mouth. Pandora’s words were brilliant and sage. It sounded like advice from my mother. The simple fact that she shared it was shocking.

“What happened to you? Why didn’t you choose to heal?” The words left my lips before I knew they were coming out.

She stayed quiet for so long that I wasn’t sure she’d heard me. When she finally spoke, her voice sounded hollow and bitter. “Life happened. I did something forbidden, and I paid the price… as does everyone I come into contact with. Healing is no longer possible for me.”

I repeated what Daisy had said earlier. “Nothing is impossible. You just have to believe.”

“Meaningless words,” she said dismissively.

“I don’t believe that,” I countered. “You opened the box. You became the box. You never knew what it contained. You were never told of the repercussions. I don’t see that as fair.”

“Old news,” she hissed. “Get over it. I did. And if you think life is fair, you are going to have a hell of a time negotiating it.”

“But it’s different now,” I told her. The tragedy of her life pulled at my heart. She was bad, there was no question. But to me… the Higher Power was far worse. It had played with her in the most inhumane way.

“It will never be different,” she hissed. “You’re not my therapist. Trust me, you do not want to be my therapist. I’ve killed twenty of them so far.”

That was alarming news. I hoped she was lying but knew she probably wasn’t. I ignored it for now and got back to my point. I wouldn’t let her distract me with her hideous deeds.

“I beg to disagree, Pandora.”

“I prefer it when you call me Shitty Whore,” she retorted.

“Fine. I beg to differ, Shitty Whore. When I hugged you, the final offering in the box was released. Hope.”

“Fuck you. There’s no such thing as hope. Over time you will realize that my statement is true.”

“You’re wrong,” I said. “Very wrong.”

“Time will tell,” she ground out. “And you’re wasting it. Describe to me what you see in front of you,” Pandora insisted coldly.

She was wrong about a lot, but she was spot on about the time. Trying to stay calm, I went with it. “We’re on a smallish island—white sandy beaches and a body of water surrounding it. There are some seriously messed up birds hanging out in palm trees and it’s sunny. Red sun. Gold clouds. The air smells salty. Two sets of bleachers at the far end.” I squinted from my vantage point and spotted a familiar face sitting at the top. “Phyllis is seated on the bleachers. She’s alone. No one else is sitting there.”

“Is she smoking?”

“She is. Why?” I asked.

“Mostly curious. I find her gross.”

“Ditto.”

“Keep talking,” she said tersely.

“Demons, or as I like to call them, flaming assholes, are here. Three of them. They’re circling each other, and no one looks happy.”

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