Page 16 of Blaze of Our Lives

“Because you’re stupid, Lilith,” Pandora shouted.

I decided to keep that one to myself as well.

“Sounds random,” I told them. “I mean, is it like the freaking Wizard of Oz where I need to get caught in a tornado or Alice in Wonderland and fall through a hole?”

“Careful there, girlie,” Candy Vargo warned, looking nervous which was rare for her. “Words got too much power in our world. My experience with the Higher Power looked like it did because I watch too many fuckin’ horror movies along with kids’ shows.”

That was sobering. An important thought occurred to me. “Who here has actually been in the presence of the Higher Power? Raise your hands, please.”

It was a question that should have been asked already. As expected, Candy Vargo and Lilith raised their hands. Gideon was the only other Immortal in the room to raise his hand.

“My hand is raised, asshole,” Pandora announced.

“I figured that, Stinky Whore,” I replied.

Pandora growled. If she wanted to play the insulting name game, I would win. Thankfully, my guests realized I was speaking to Pandora. I’d feel terrible if anyone here thought I’d just called them a stinky whore.

“Welp, I kind of know how to get there in a roundabout and ambiguous way. Moving on,” I said, doing my best to stay positive. “Pandora, what does the Higher Power look like… to you?”

“True beauty,” she replied.

“More specific,” I insisted.

“I don’t know what you mean,” she snapped.

“Try.”

“Hell, I don’t know, the last time was in nineteen ninety nine… maybe Brad Pitt in the fishing movie. Or Warren Beatty in that football movie. Or Dolly Parton when she was in the movie with the crappy boss they offed. Or Clark Gable in the movie where they burned down some little town. Or even that girl from the TV show who had no job but had an excellent haircut and an expensive apartment in New York.”

My confusion was obvious. What kind of psycho-babble did she just spew?

“Sue me,” Pandora said. “The Darkness can get boring. I went through a phase in the late nineties after Netflix started their mail-to-home DVD service.”

“What did she say?” Charlie asked. He had been quiet for most of the conversation, but it was clear the man didn’t miss a beat.

“True beauty,” I repeated. “Apparently, it’s a combo of Brad Pitt, Warren Beatty, Dolly Parton, Clark Gable and I think the last one was Jennifer Anniston.”

“Jesus,” Candy muttered. “That’s a lot tamer than my version.”

“Word,” I replied. “Lilith, tell me your version, please.”

Her lovely brow wrinkled in thought. “Nirvana,” she replied. “Wildly colored flowers, vines and trees—nature at its’ explosive finest. Absolute peace and tranquility.”

“What the fuck?” Candy griped. “Not what I saw.”

I ignored Candy and focused on my mom. “That’s what the Higher Power looks like to you?” I questioned.

She shook her head. “I can’t say I’ve seen the Higher Power in any kind of form with my eyes. For me, it’s the place where the Higher Power resides. My communication was through nature. No words were necessary.”

And the information kept getting more bewildering.

“Gideon,” I said, feeling a little desperate at this point. “What about you?”

“More like what Candy Vargo experienced.”

“You saw Pee-wee Herman?” Candy demanded.

“No,” he said, flatly. “It was full of devastation and death. Very dark, rigged with land mines and not a place I’d like to revisit.”

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