Page 10 of Blaze of Our Lives

“I’m about to call on It. And I have a lot of questions. You just said that’s a no-no.”

The man who I trusted with my heart and my life, held up a hand. “You’re not calling on It to come to you. You’re going to It. You’re not questioning the existence of It. You’re demanding specific answers to a specific situation. Words are made to be interpreted in many ways. Keep that in mind.”

“AND, if you get stressed, pinch your weenus. Just give it a twist, a yank and a squeeze, and the anxiety abates!” Tim recommended, pushing his sleeve up and displaying his elbow.

Again, Tim left me at a loss for words. I wasn’t sure if he had all his brain matter. It seemed like he’d just advised me to masturbate in times of distress. However, his elbow muddied my guess. From the description, it sounded like he was referring to a male member, but I wasn’t sure.

I glanced around. No one else thought the proposal was inappropriate or questionable. Immortals were an eccentric group. Maybe everyone got themselves off in times of tension. I sure as hell hoped not.

I went there. I had to. “My weenus?” The confusion and horror in my voice could not be missed.

Tim’s embarrassed screech of laughter was only beat by Candy Vargo’s cackle and Cher’s loud choking on her peach flavored wine cooler.

The Courier’s face was beet-red and he fanned himself. “Oh dear,” he fretted. “Did you think I meant penis?”

“Uhhhhh…” It was the only sound I could get out.

“It’s a logical assumption on Cecily’s part,” Daisy chimed in with a laugh. “I think it should be explained a little better.”

“Ohhhhhh my,” Tim said, turning even redder. “The weenus is the extra skin at the end of your elbow.” He pointed to his own weenus. “The method was recommended by the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse who happen to be fabulous drag queens.”

“Are you serious?” I asked.

“About the weenus or the Horsemen?”

“Both.” I spared a quick glance to Abaddon. There was a slight grin pulling at his lips. If everyone was screwing with me, I was going to kick some ass. I didn’t care how old or powerful they were.

“The Horsemen are most definitely drag queens and the weenus method is tried and true,” Tim assured me.

I blew out a long and audible breath. I’d already agreed to live in Crazy Town, I might as well buy some furniture. “Does pinching the weenus give me more power?”

Tim considered the question thoughtfully. “Not in the literal sense. However, being centered with a calm mind is a power that magic can’t touch.”

He demonstrated.

When in Rome…

I pinched the skin at the end of my elbow and was amazed that I felt no pain no matter how hard I squeezed. Without pause, I pinched harder, then I twisted. No pain. It was kind of incredible. Even pulling on it was pain-free. Wild. This information would blow my brother away. Although, Sean knew tons of stuff. He’d probably been pinching his weenus for years.

When I looked up, every single occupant of the room was pinching their weenus. The laugh that left my lips was loud. It was also contagious. Even the Destroyer, who was usually the sexy and somber type, laughed. Call me shocked, but weenus squeezing did the trick. I didn’t feel quite as on edge.

“I can’t believe that works,” I said with a giggle as I gave my weenus one last twist. “It’s nuts.”

“That it is and so are we,” Heather agreed with a grin. “None of us would know normal if it smacked us in the face.”

“Normal is boring,” Cher announced, lining her lips in green eye pencil. “I don’t trust normal. Two of my ex-husbands were normal. Nuff said. Ran from the last normal guy like my dang tampon was on fire!”

“Oh my God,” I muttered. Cher’s visuals were always disturbing. Walking over to the not-normal gal, I took the green pencil from her hand, reached into her seemingly bottomless bag and found a red lip pencil. I handed it to her. She went to town. The combo of green and red lips was risky, but she pulled it off. Very Christmassy.

“I’d suggest getting back to business,” Heather said.

She was kind of a brook-no-bullshit gal. I liked that about her.

Daisy got us back on track. “I’ve never witnessed the Higher Power,” she admitted. “I’m interested in this conversation as well.”

“Wait,” I said, looking around. “Has anyone actually seen It?”

“With our eyes?” Charlie asked.

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