Page 1 of Blaze of Our Lives

CHAPTER ONE

‘Be careful what you wish for, lest it come true!’ The quote was from Aesop’s Fables.

The problem? I was about to live it…

An icy wind tore through the room, upending the set pieces and all of the furniture on the soundstage. Drawing the evil woman out by producing a fake show on the Demon Network and humiliating her had worked—maybe too well. Abaddon, my boyfriend—for lack of a more accurate term, had been wary of the plan. However, no one had anything better. I might be one of the two Goddesses of the Darkness, but until very recently, I’d just been an actress in her forties trying to make a comeback in Hollywood. In the end, I’d decided we’d go with a plan I felt comfortable and familiar with. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be the end of all of us.

That would suck hard.

Pandora hadn’t come alone. She had twenty flaming demonic assholes with her, and she was irate. Her normally gorgeous alabaster skin was a mottled red. Her gown was wrinkled and torn, and her eyes were manic. She’d clearly been in hiding, and it hadn’t treated her well.

“How dare you,” she roared. “You will pay. Oh,” she added with a laugh that verged on hysteria. “Don’t worry about your backup security. I killed them.”

Abaddon’s growl of fury made my blood run cold. The strikes against Pandora were too many to count.

The Demon hadn’t changed much. Her crazy was showing, and she was delusional. The Shitty Whore was still stunning with an evil iciness to her. She was viciously insane and lacked a conscience, but there was no discounting how smart she was. Her sadistic cunning had gotten her through millions of years.

I only had forty years under my belt and most of that was as a human. The odds were bad, but I was pay or play on this particular episode. There was no canceling this show.

“You’ve got it all wrong, Pandora,” I said flatly as I raised my hands in the air and produced two fire swords. “Your unhinged mind has it backward. You’re going to pay.”

Her flaming assholes snarled and bared their teeth. The searing heat coming from their hulking bodies stank like sulfur and made my stomach roil. The green fire with icy blue sparks that covered their bodies popped and cracked ominously.

Pandora and her people were on one side of the large soundstage. Me and my people were on the other. My posse were no slouches. We were outnumbered, but we were a deadly crew. Abaddon had gone all badass and was glowing dangerously. His eyes blazed red, and his purple fire sword appeared in his hand. His presence made the flaming assholes nervous. They kept their eyes glued to the Destroyer. Too bad, so sad for them… there were several of us almost as deadly as Abaddon.

Fifi morphed into a hulking, six-foot monster with razor-sharp fangs. With a grenade in each hand, she looked like a nightmare come to life. My self-proclaimed Succubus bodyguard was terrifying.

Cher, my agent who just so happened to be an Angel, had ripped off her shirt and downy white wings burst from her back. She wielded a glowing golden stick. It looked like a massive dildo. It was all kinds of crazily appropriate for my tiny agent. Ophelia, my de facto new BFF, had her purple fire sword and was no longer sporting a beret. The Demon was as deadly as advertised.

“Stella,” I commanded. “Transport Uncle Joe and Bean. NOW. Get them out of here.”

Without a word, my loyal and nutty subject obeyed. They disappeared in a mist of shimmering black dust.

Jonny, who was lacking in the brains department but was amazing in battle, came sprinting out of the dressing room, minus his pants that had been puked on. He’d morphed into a monster over eight feet tall, complete with claws and fangs. It was a chilling look, and he wore it well.

He also wasn’t fucking around.

When he opened his jaw, it appeared unhinged, like something out of a zombie movie. It was insane and gave the flaming assholes pause.

Sushi the Succubus Queen, no shrinking violet, walked front and center, wearing a white tux and patent leather red shoes. Her razor-sharp fangs were extended, and she looked the flaming assholes up and down like they were pieces of meat, and she was going to a barbecue. I had no clue if she was about to break her nine-hundred-year celibacy streak, but the threat was there.

Corny Crackers was naked and holding knitting needles. If I hadn’t recently seen him behead flaming assholes with his hobby utensils, I would have been concerned. I wasn’t. He was a master with his wool tools. Moon, who had played a version of Pandora in the show, was still humping the couch, which almost sent the real Pandora over the edge. However, my horny, furniture-loving buddy now had an enchanted sword in each hand, compliments of Fifi. It was a disturbing picture, but it was what it was. Moon was nuts, but she was mine. I’d defend her till the death.

But they weren’t the last of my crew…

With a shriek so high pitched I was sure I’d burst an eardrum, Irma Stoutwagon joined the posse. She reminded me of a rabid Tasmanian Devil on crack… or maybe a pissed-off honey badger on a week-long cocaine bender. She was out of control.

Everyone took a wary step back except Candy Vargo. Candy was the OG of badasses. The Keeper of Fate didn’t morph into anything. She wasn’t glowing. She had no weapon in her hand. Candy simply crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Pandora. As wild as it seemed, she was the scariest Immortal in the room. Her confidence was killer. Pandora studiously avoided eye contact with her.

“No one makes fun at my expense,” Pandora bellowed as spittle flew from her lips.

I heard the whir of the camera and realized we were still being live-streamed. Bean hadn’t turned off the camera. I was going to turn that happy accident into a win.

“And no one kills the Goddess Lilith and gets away with it,” I shot back.

“I didn’t kill the bitch,” Pandora screamed. “You have no proof.”

Cher laughed. Sushi laughed. Abaddon didn’t move a muscle. The rest of my people laughed along. They had no clue why they were laughing, but it made the situation at hand more ominous.

---