Page 71 of Whiskey Neat

“Didn’t have to. I’ve heard I can be pretty scary when I’m mad, and I was way past mad at that point. I told him to knock it off or I would ruin his life.” Indy shakes his head, gazing off for a second. “I threatened to make sure not a single person he ever met would ever trust him or fuck him again. I told him to forget I existed or regret meeting me for the rest of his life.”

Indy’s voice dropped several octaves, and I swear the man just got ten times sexier. How is that even possible?

“I assume he believed you?”

“He did. Rumor is he packed his shit and moved back to wherever he was from. Never saw him again.”

“I hope he learned from it,” Lowen says, “and changed his ways or got some therapy.”

“Damn.”

Paul returns with our food, and we dig in.

“I had some funny ones though,” Indy says, lightening the mood. “There was this guy… What was his name?”

“The Spiderman one?” Lowen asks.

“Yeah.”

“Nick.”

“That’s right. Nick. He invited me over and went into the bathroom to freshen up. He came out wearing a full-blown Spiderman costume, but it was open where his ass was.”

I snort a laugh. “Nice.”

“He wanted me to pretend I was Doctor Octopus.”

“Oh my god.”

“It was okay, but he kept making swishing noises like he was shooting webs from his hands. Weird as fuck.”

“That’s crazy.”

“What about you?” Lowen asks. “Any memorable hookups?”

“Hmm.” The one that comes to mind feels safe enough to share. “Probably this guy who called himself a daddy.” I munch on a fry while Indy’s eyes bore into me. “I met him at a bar and went back to his place, and it was cool at first, but then he started pressuring me to let him put a diaper on me and feed me snacks like I was a baby. He was looking for a little, and that’s not me.”

“Oof,” Lowen says. “That’s rough.”

“He had a whole room set up with binkies and blankies and plushies. I hope he found the little of his dreams.”

“Low, tell him about that mountain dude.”

“Oh god,” Lowen says dramatically. “Evan. He was divine. Rugged, handsome.” Lowen stirs his tea with his straw. “Unfortunately, he forgot to mention he was married, a fact I discovered during a romantic winter night in his cabin.”

“What happened?” I ask.

“The missus came home. She got an early flight because a storm was coming. Fellows, that storm landed in that cabin that night. Poor woman. I called her a few weeks later to apologize and tell her I didn’t know.”

“How did she take it?”

“Well. We had brunch a few times. It wasn’t the first time that had happened, but it had been a couple of years so she thought he was over it. She dumped him and ended up taking a transfer with her company and moving west.”

“And then?” Indy prompts.

“The cheating bastard called me and asked me to come over the minute she moved out. I declined, of course, sisterhood and all that, but what a loss. His dick was a gift from the universe.”

“Sounds like we’ve all had some doozies over the years.”

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