Page 61 of Whiskey Neat

I ignore the warning ping his question causes in my chest and shrug. “He’s playing a game with me. I’ve seen it a thousand times. He’ll act hard to get, but the sex is so fire, he knows I’ll be chasing him for more.”

My earlier comment about chasing him if he tried to leave comes back to haunt me, along with my weird jealousy every time a man even looks at him, and my clingy ‘let’s shower and why don’t you sleep here’ bullshit, but I mentally shake it away.

“He’s just as skilled at this stuff as I am,” I continue.

“Uh-huh,” Ridley says. “Sounds like a pro.”

“Yeah.” I drag a hand through my hair then stretch my neck back and forth as calmness takes hold again. “Damn, he’s good. I almost fell for it. Salem’s talented, I’ll give him that.”

“Indy…” Lowen sounds concerned.

“Thanks for listening while I talked it out. I’m good now.”

I notice the uncomfortable looks, but I ignore them. I know what I have to do. Just sex and work—leave the friendship stuff out of it until the attraction runs its course. I got this. This is what I do.

Keeping Salem firmly in the fuckzone is a walk in the park for a guy like me.

TWENTY

SALEM

Blaine speaks in a muffled voice to someone in the background before sounding like he’s walking to another room. “Uh, sure. What’s up?”

Inhaling deeply before blowing the breath out, I brace myself for the answer to the question I’m about to ask.

“I need to know something, and after all this time, I think I’m ready to hear the answer.” My eyes sting with the threat of tears.

“Okay.”

“What did I do wrong? Specifically. I need to know what it was about me that drove you to do what you did.”

“Salem…”

“And don’t sugarcoat it and give me a bunch of lines about it not being me and all that other hedging bullshit. Why wasn’t I enough? Why did you cheat?”

Blaine blows out a breath. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

Even though my hands are clammy and I might vomit later, I know that if I want to stop holding back and enjoy whatever this is with Indy, I need to know what it is about me that sends men running.

“I’m sure.”

“Okay, well, first off I owe you a huge apology. No one deserves to be cheated on, and I feel like shit for it. I hurt you, and I hate that.”

Heat washes over me as I fight back tears. “Thanks.”

“As far as why it happened, the simplest answer is that I was too immature to deal with my feelings the right way.”

“Please, Blaine. Tell me what it was I did. I need to hear it.”

“Honestly? There was this energy… Desperation is the word that comes to mind. Neediness. You said a lot of stuff that scared me.”

“Scared you?”

“Yeah. You used to tell me how amazing I was and how I made you so happy and you wanted to spend all your time with me. I wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment and I didn’t even know if I could live up to your expectations.”

His words sting, but I sit and take it like being at a firing range. “Go on.”

“We agreed to take it slow, right? But you didn’t. You were all in before I could even figure shit out. I liked you, but… Salem…”

---