Page 30 of One Reckless Summer

But then, what about what Dolly told me? Summer doesn’t want this. She has a life waiting for her, and it sounds like an amazing one. How selfish would I have to be to take that away from her? Not to mention Ted’s investment in this place, which was kind of predicated on me doing the whole TV deal. Camp WanderLust has been losing money for years, and if it goes down, so does he.

With a growl, I push the contract away. I need to think, and I can’t do that sitting behind a desk. My mind isn’t programmed that way.

I need sky above me, dirt under my feet, and the smell of pine trees and a little danger.

But what does Summer need?

Chapter Eleven

Summer

“What’d that asshole do?” Dolly crosses the cabin from the door, grabbing me by the arms. “I’m going to fucking kill him. I told him not to hurt you or he’d have to deal with me. Guess he made his choice. Spill, girl.”

She tugs me down to sit on the edge of my cot next to her. I’m shaking my head, trying to find the words through the tears that now won’t stop.

“It’s not his fault,” I manage, looking down to see I’ve broken two more nails.

My knee burns where I skinned it falling off the end of the rope after Hailey went to eat with the other kids and I got a wild hair thinking I was some big adventurer and could climb all the way to the top.

“The hell it isn’t. He looking for free babysitting in the form of a new stepmom for his kid? I fucking knew he was going to try—”

“No!” I splutter, swiping the back of my hand over my wet cheeks. “No, he doesn’t want me. He has this amazing life planned. Out here, in this crazy world that makes no sense to me with all the spiders and bears and....stuff. I should never have come here.”

I draw back, my legs needing to move as I start to pace the small counselors’ area of the cabin. My stuff is scattered everywhere. What the hell was I thinking, bringing fucking bath bombs to camp?

None of what I am makes sense here.

“I have to go, Dolly. Will you tell him I quit? I can’t. I just want to go. I’m sorry about our wild summer. I should have known this was not going to be my jam.”

“Wait, what? You don’t quit things. You’ve never quit anything in your life, including when I dragged you to auto shop as your sophomore elective. You did that. Talk to me.”

I draw a deep breath, expanding my lungs until they feel like they’ll burst, bending down to pick up my pink velour Betsy Johnson tracksuit and shove it into my suitcase. “He hasn’t said anything. I went looking for him. More like snooping for him… I shouldn’t have, but I went in his office. It wasn’t locked…” I try to justify the unjustifiable invasion. “I wanted to talk, I mean, we needed to talk. I started poking around and there was a contract. For the TV network. With a big clause that forbids him from having any sort of relationship during the length of the contract.”

The sounds of kids squealing outside and my racing heartbeat muffle everything else.

“But you don’t want a relationship. Do you? Just a summer fling…”

I shrug. “Right. No. I don’t know!” I hiss in frustration. “I… Ugggg.” I groan. “I don’t fit in here with spiders and dirt and everything, but, I like it. I love Hailey, I love the air, the thrill, I love… I’m in love with Price. I could see myself living like this, with him, but it doesn’t matter. Even if he wanted something with me, clearly he can’t have it.”

The tears come no matter how hard I fight, and I can’t take it anymore. I throw the tube of toothpaste I was packing down onto the bed, and run, ignoring her pleas for me to stop. The cabin is too close, there isn’t enough air. I need be outside, so I run. I’m not even a running type of girl, but right now my legs are carrying me away, away, away.

I head for the lake. I’ve never been in a lake before. I was always too scared there were fish in there and what if the bottom was slimy?

As I catch sight of the water, doubt and confusion hurdle around inside me. I want to dive in the dark water and let it swallow me, so I don’t have to think or feel or wonder about what I should or shouldn’t do here.

I’m so out of my element with these crazy feelings.

I stop, leaning forward, bracing my arms on my bent knees, then stand straight, unclipping the green metal clip from my belt, cocking back to throw it into the water.

“What are you going to do?” I whisper-ask myself, my arm frozen, ready to throw the strange but emotional gift into the dark water but the silence is broken with footsteps from behind me.

It’s gotta be Dolly.

A hand encases my upper arm, squeezing. Hard.

Dolly’s been working out, I think as I turn, and I find myself face to chest with him.

“What are you…?” I glance around, but we’re alone, and he’s definitely not been chasing me down. His breathing is calm and steady but the set of his chin and the way he’s hollowing his cheeks makes him look more intense than usual. “How did you find me?”

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