Page 44 of Seduced By the Sheikh

He bowed his head so she couldn’t see the grief he felt. For as long as he could remember he’d hidden his feelings. It had been easier that way. But this grief seemed to be blasting them out from that hard place in which he’d trapped them. And it hurt.

“Look at me, Zak. Please, look at me.”

He lifted his head and looked into her eyes which echoed the grief in his heart.

She nodded, and almost smiled despite the fact tears ran down his face. “Our baby will go and we will mourn him. But you have to face the fact that you have choices now. I’m still not the woman you thought you were marrying. It seems I have no royal blood in me and will always be the wrong bride for you.”

He shook his head. “How can you say?—”

She pressed her finger to his lips. “I can say it because it’s true. I hear what our people are saying. They think you’ve been tricked, fooled by a foreigner. And you have. And I understand that you couldn’t leave while I was pregnant.” She gulped. “But I won’t be shortly. Which means you have choices.”

He took both her hands in his, gripping them tightly. “How can you even think that?”

“I can think that because it’s a fact. I’ve always been a realist, and the facts are now that you are free to re-make your future, should you choose to do so.”

“Why would you even think I would do such a thing?”

She shrugged. “Maybe because I know you’re a man of honor—not about to annul a marriage to a woman pregnant with your child—but I also know you’re a man determined to do your duty as king and that includes providing a royal, well-connected wife for Sirun. And I’m not that.”

He swallowed hard. “I’m also a realist. Okay, royal blood might not flow in your veins but you were raised a sheikha, and you’ve done more for Sirun than anyone else has. You’ve selflessly sacrificed your own wealth—the opposite of my mother—and because of that have ensured Sirun can make a new start. Surely that’s enough reason to continue to be Queen of Sirun?”

To his surprise she shook her head. “Not nearly enough. I may have set the stage for a new era for Sirun but unless our relationship is based on more than economics, we are still doomed.”

“Our relationship?”

She winced and moved uncomfortably.

“Do you need the doctor?”

She shook her head. “It’s just a cramp.”

“We’ve done enough talking for now. You must rest.”

She winced again, and he pressed the bell. “Maybe. But I need to finish what I was going to say. Zak. Without love our marriage is nothing. You must think it through. You’ve a chance to start afresh and make a life with someone you love. I don’t know if you care for me enough to spend the rest of your life with.”

“But…” he spluttered, totally confused. How could she even think that? Hadn’t he shown her with everything he’d done how much he felt for her? “Are you saying you want me to annul the marriage?”

She shook her head. “No, I’m not saying that, because I don’t want you to. I love you, and I want to be with you, but only if you love me too.”

Love. The word felled him. He remembered his mother using that word when he was young—a word he felt betrayed by and had never trusted. How could he tell Soraiya he loved her when he didn’t understand the meaning of the word anymore? And how to explain what he hardly understood himself? But the melee of words spun around his brain and the seconds passed, until Soraiya looked away. He reached out to her but she pulled her hand back and rang the bell for the doctor.

“Soraiya! Please,” he said.

But before he could say anything further the door burst open and the doctor entered looking anxious. Soraiya moaned and rolled onto her side.

“Your Highness, I think it’s best you leave us and I’ll check Her Highness again.”

“For goodness’ sake, doctor, call me Soraiya,” she muttered.

“Indeed.” The doctor walked around to face her and gave her a quick visual inspection. “Any pain?”

She turned back and exchanged a look with Zak. “Nothing I can’t cope with.”

It was a message to him. She’d cope with the fact he didn’t love her. Zak rose. “We’ll continue this talk later, yes?”

She nodded. “Whatever you wish,” she said in a resigned voice.

He left the room feeling numb. He could no more try to examine his feelings for Soraiya than embrace the pain he felt at the loss of his child.

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