Page 27 of Bad Professor

“You’re not old.”

“I’m older than most of the other students. And I’m not going to lie—it was tough. But I was happy to get the opportunity to study subjects that interest me.”

“Are you telling me to be happy that I get the opportunity to study math?”

“No.” I laugh. “Unless you really like math. What are you happy about studying?”

“Nothing.”

“There has to be something,” I urge. “What about just starting school? What are you looking forward to?”

“Nothing. That’s the problem.”

“What about getting a locker? And going to Starbucks at lunch without having to ask permission?”

“I can?”

“You and Maddy can go to the park to eat lunch, too.”

“Good, because the cafeteria sounds scary.”

“Cafeterias scare me, too.”

I’ve seen the movie enough times to be able to hold a conversation with Jordan but I do point out a few things—the character of Eowyn, Merry overcoming his fear, how attractive Legolas is, despite never laughing once in the all the movies, to her.

I like to laugh. Carlos rarely made me laugh. I think Dexter—

And he’s back.

Four days of him slipping into my thoughts as easily as the sun rises in the morning. Which I had been awake for this morning, same as yesterday.

No one told me that having sex for the first time in over two years would mean I couldn’t sleep. I wake up in the middle of the night and it feels like Dexter is with me. I changed my sheets yesterday because I could still smell him.

He smelled… good. I thought fresh sheets would stop me from thinking about him, but nothing seemed to work.

Talking to Jordan is good.

“Do you have everything you need for the week at your father’s?”

Talking about Carlos works as well. Except when I can’t stop myself from comparing Carlos with Dexter and—

It was one night. Even my internal voice is getting frustrated with how I can’t stop thinking about Dexter.

“Are you lonely when we’re not here?” Jordan surprises me by asking.

“Not really, no,” I tell her, even though I was miserable when Carlos suggested he keep them during the week to make it easier for the girls to be closer to school. Now missing them has settled into a dull ache, like the phantom pain of missing your hand if it gets cut off. I miss them desperately, but I can survive without them. “I keep busy. I miss you, though. I miss you every day.”

“I miss you, too.”

“Are you okay being at your father’s?”

“It’s fine, and the school is close. Heidi is only a little annoying.”

“She’s annoying?” Why does that make me so happy to hear?

“A little. I don’t like seeing Dad being all gross and sweet with her because he wasn’t like that to you.”

“Gross and sweet don’t really go together.”

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