Page 61 of Lost in You

She waves a hand. “No worries, I’ll ask you what you want next time.”

It’s my second day back at the office. After two days in the hospital in Seattle, my mom drove me home and stayed with me for three days. She cooked my favorite foods—pasta carbonara, steak and even a chocolate cheesecake—and we binge-watched shows from my couch.

I haven’t gotten to see Karma yet because he’s back at my mom’s staying with one of her friends. But the time alone with my mom was better than any time I’ve ever spent with her. She didn’t fuss over my apartment and I wasn’t petty toward her. It seems like we both know now that life’s too short for any of that.

“I can’t believe these numbers,” I tell Genevieve as I look over the sales figures for Allura’s first two full months of sales. “They’re above and beyond anything I anticipated.”

“You had all the pieces in place.”

I laugh off her compliment. “No, this was a team effort. I had myself convinced the launch couldn’t be successful if...well, if a hundred different things. But you guys did an amazing job.”

“I’m not keeping the job,” she blurts. “This is your job and I don’t want you to think I just swooped in and took it. I cried every day of my first week in this office.”

I smile and meet her gaze. “I’d never think that. The show must go on.”

“Well, it’s your job and your office. There are openings on Patrick’s team; he already said I can have a spot if I want it.”

“Let’s not talk about that yet.”

“Okay, but can we talk about you being trapped in a cabin with a hot hockey player? Was there only one bed?”

My cheeks warm and she squeals with excitement. “I knew it! Tell me everything.”

The two of us have always shared all the details of our lives with each other, but for some reason, I feel protective of every moment I’ve spent with Lincoln. It wasn’t salacious or even about sex. We needed each other.

And now it’s over. I think about him constantly, especially when I’m lying in bed alone at night. I’d trade the bed in my heated bedroom to be back in the cabin’s bed with him in a heartbeat. I miss the feel of his strong arms around me, the wind whipping against the cabin’s walls. The sound of him groaning when he’s about to come. The feel of his chiseled chest behind my back in the bathtub, his hands roaming over my bare skin.

How could I possibly put all of that into words Genevieve would understand? I don’t even understand it myself—I just feel it, deep inside.

“Later,” I tell her. “I seriously have so much work to catch up on.”

“Gloria doesn’t expect you to catch up on three months’ worth of work in a matter of days, you know. Be gentle with yourself.”

I glance at my phone screen, hoping to see a text from Linc. Nothing.

We’ve texted a few times and had one awkward phone conversation because my mom could hear me talking to him and I was guarded. He’s been traveling with his team since.

“Are you okay?” Genevieve asks me, her tone laced with concern.

“Hmm?” I tuck my phone back into my bag. “Yeah, I’m good.”

“Are you, though? You just don’t seem like yourself.”

I shrug and sigh. “It’s harder than I thought it would be to get back into my old routine. I don’t know if my meds are built up enough in my system to be effective yet.”

When the doctor in Seattle put me back on my anxiety medication, I nearly cried with relief. I was managing my anxiety as well as I could with meditation and deep breathing, but it was still there. I know the medication is at least helping me because I don’t feel as on edge as I did when I first got home.

I’m still not the same, though. I keep waiting to wake up one morning and feel exactly like I did before Alaska—excited about the workday ahead, thinking about my plans for the weekend.

It’s Friday, and I’ll be spending this weekend alone in my apartment. All the friends who have reached out to me since I got back just want to talk about the plane crash and the cabin. I understand their curiosity, but they ask questions I don’t feel ready to answer.

“How can I help?” Genevieve asks.

I smile softly. “I don’t know. Just listen when I need it, I guess. I appreciate you asking.”

“Let’s hang out this weekend. We’ll do whatever you feel like.”

I think about it for a few seconds. “Yoga might be nice. And maybe breakfast after at that place with the huge pastries.”

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