Page 48 of Lost in You

I sigh softly. “Part of me wishes I wasn’t like this. But my greatest fear is getting a woman pregnant. That’s just how it is.”

She kisses my forehead. “Never be ashamed of who you are. I happen to think you’re pretty great just as you are.”

The bond between us tugs tighter. No woman but Trinity has ever accepted that I didn’t want to have sex. I’ve been laughed at, yelled at and called a head case over it.

“What’s your greatest fear?” I ask.

Her answer is immediate. “Drowning.”

I remember the panic in her scream when she woke up in a sweat. “Like in your nightmare.”

“Yes.”

I lie on my back and put my arm out, pulling her against me. She snuggles into my side and I cover us both up. “Does that come from something that happened to you?”

Her exhale is soft and warm on my chest. “When I was fourteen, I was swimming at a lake in a friend’s neighborhood. We were on a dock in the middle of the lake when this sixteen-year-old guy who loved making fun of me showed up. Joey Marconi. He pushed me into the lake and held my head under the water.”

I can tell from the emotion in her voice that this wound is still fresh for her.

“Jesus, Trin. That’s fucking awful.”

“I was already panicked from being pushed in, and I hadn’t taken a breath before he pulled me under, so I inhaled a bunch of water. I can’t even describe how scared I was. He was so strong, and I...I really thought I was going to die.”

“That would be terrifying for anyone. I’m sorry that happened.”

She sighs softly. “I haven’t been swimming since that day.”

“Could I get you into a hot tub if we had one?”

“Oh, definitely. Can you even imagine?”

I picture it. Me and Trin in a hot tub in the cabin, sipping on drinks and watching snow fall through the window. We’re both naked, of course. It’s my idea of heaven.

She puts her arm around my chest and gives me a little squeeze. “I know I was a pain in the ass when we first crashed and got here, but I’d choose you, Linc. To be stuck here with.”

“I’d choose you, too.”

Pushing up on her elbow, she leans over me and kisses me. My cock was already hard just from having her next to me, and the kiss makes it strain against my pants.

I cup her face with one hand and squeeze her ass with the other. She nips lightly on my lower lip as she slides a hand over my crotch, cupping my erection.

“Oh, fuck.” I groan and put my hand over hers.

“Let me,” she says against my lips.

“I don’t...I just wanted this to be about you.”

She rubs her palm over my cock, making me groan again. “Nothing is just about you or me here. It’s always us.”

I don’t know if it’s her logic or how fucking good it feels to have her touching me, but I relent and move my hand away.

“No sex,” she murmurs. “I’d never do that to you.”

It’s been a long time since a woman touched me. I close my eyes and exhale long and hard as she unfastens my jeans and pulls them down. When she bends to kiss my cock through my underwear, a shudder passes through me. I never do this—give up control to a woman in bed. I satisfy them in every way I can, and if I allow myself anything, I’ll let them suck me for a little while, but I always finish myself.

But Trin gave herself over to me just now. She trusts me, and I trust her.

She tugs my underwear off and licks the head of my cock, making my breathing ragged. When she takes me in her mouth, I fist the quilt on the bed, fighting to keep control.

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