Page 28 of Lethal Souls

I hate these Regals.

I hate them for ever creating this world, for getting us involved, for taking my brother away from me.

But I’m emotionless. Despite how hard I try or how much I want to, I simply can’t react.

“I know,” Caz says, having read my thoughts. “I feel the same way.”

“I’ll leave you to it,” Korah says, but we both ignore her, and it takes no time for her to vanish.

Caz takes me back inside to sit on the edge of the bed. “You should try to get some sleep,” he offers.

I obey, laying my head on the pillow. I don’t have it in me to fight…or maybe I do have it in me but still can’t.

“What did she do to me?” I ask when he brings a quilt over my shoulders.

He lowers to a squat next to the bed, stroking my forehead. His eyes line with tears but he blinks them away. A painful expression appears. “She temporarily muted your feelings. They didn’t want the devastation of losing Warren to ruin you.”

“I should be able to feel my brother’s loss,” I tell him. My voice is defeated. Fuck. I can’t even argue? I want to sound angry because I am angry!

“Yeah. You should.”

I look around the room bathed in silvery light and release a hopeless sigh. “I asked for this,” I whisper. “I begged you to contact them so they could help, but instead they…he’s…”

“No, Willow. Don’t do that. Don’t blame yourself. I know that feeling, and believe me, this is not your fault.”

“It is. I wanted you to contact Hassha. I thought she was good.”

“She tried, Willow. As angry as I am with them, I truly believe they tried.” He plants a kiss on the center of my forehead before laying one on my cheek. “You are not to blame for this. Okay?”

My lack of response is enough for him.

“I don’t want to leave you alone, but I need to run to my office to check something about The Council. I’ll be back.”

I reach up, catching him by the sleeve. He pauses, glancing down at my hand before picking it up and curling one of his around it.

“I can’t feel anything, Caz,” I whisper.

I want to cry for the lack of it. I feel it all bottled inside me, dying to break through like a dam. Instead, there’s only a tear. One single tear that slips over the bridge of my nose.

“I’m so sorry, Willow.” He swipes the tear away. “I never wanted this to happen.”

I close my eyes. Then something soft and furry rubs across my hand. When I open my eyes again, I see Silvera. She whimpers as she runs her muzzle across my arm. Then she jumps onto the bed and forces her large body under one of my arms. I cling to her, burying my cheek into her side.

It’s you and me, my little ruby. Caz leans down and kisses my lips. I promise I’ll do everything I can to make this right.

I want to believe him, I do, but knowing my twin is gone…how am I supposed to live with that? I’d spent so much time searching for him, and it turned out he was lost in this world—a world that will chew you up and swallow you simply for existing.

Vakeeli is not a home. It’s just another version of hell.

I can’t believe I thought life would be better here.

Caz leaves the room, and I close my eyes as the ache in my chest grows just a little bit stronger.

EIGHTEEN

CAZ

I need to get outside for some air so I can think.

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