“Right now, I just don’t want to be alone. Everything else can wait,” she replies in another whisper. “Plus, if I’m concussed and you don’t stay, my death is on you.” She winks, wincing from the pain.
I laugh and crawl into her bed, leaning over to turn off the lamp before I settle in. We lay in silence for a while facing the ceiling. I feel her turn toward me; I do the same. For another moment, the silence continues until all of my emotions from the last hour threaten to explode out of me.
“Teagan… I was so scared, tonight. When he hit you…my heart stopped. I am so sorry I couldn’t stop it. I know you won’t believe me, but I’m sorry I was one of those people to cause you pain.” I feel her hand grab mine, squeezing in answer. I release the breath I’ve been holding since this morning.
I don’t care if it’s wrong; I am not letting go of her hand.
Chapter 45
Teagan
The next morning, I wake up with Emmaline’s head on my chest, my head throbbing from the punch. When I try to move, she holds me tighter. I try again and her eyes shoot open. She sits up quickly, realizing how she was laying on me. “I’m so sorry. I usually hold my pillow at night, I… I didn’t mean to...” she frantically explains.
“Dude. It’s cool. We were just sleeping. You don’t have to worry about what Devan said about me yesterday, trust me.” I roll my eyes and try to stand. I am a bit dizzy, but my head doesn’t hurt as bad as last night.
“How are you?” she asks, scooting to sit beside me on the edge of the bed. “Let me see your face.” She lifts my chin toward her, squinting through the dim morning light. “It’s definitely swollen and bruised. Hold on.” She leans over to turn on the lamp, her eyes widening. “That looks like shit. What do we tell my parents?” she asks.
I take a moment to think before I look up at her and smile. “Want to show me how to shoot a lacrosse ball?” Her face contorts in confusion.
“Do you need a doctor or something?” she asks, genuinely concerned. “Lacrosse is what you’re thinking about right now?” I raise my eyebrows and point to my eye, then the light bulb moment comes. She bends over in laughter, and I can’t help but join her.
It took over two weeks for the bruising to go away. It was hilarious how much shit the Briggs family gives Emmaline for hitting me in the face with the ball. After we went through with our plan, we came inside to show her parents. At first, they freaked out, making sure I was okay. Then, Ethan gave me the nickname ‘Shiner’. EJ ridiculed Emmaline for days, “Em, aren’t you supposed to be good? You totally missed the goal!” Then points at my eye. Emmaline and I would always find each other’s eyes and smirk, knowing that our plan was working perfectly.
Emmaline and I have become inseparable. Since the incident, we a few nights a week falling asleep in bed with Eli while watching a Disney movie. I love with this routine so much. Most mornings, I wake up with Emmaline on my chest and my arms wrapped around her. We never talk about it, and she hasn’t freaked out since the first morning. It is an unspoken thing we just ignore.
Unfortunately, I am starting to feel something. I remind myself every day that she recoiled when Devan said the word ‘dyke’. Not only that, but we spent the first month hating each other. That isn’t something you can move past, right? I push the thought from my mind, telling myself to enjoy having a new best friend. I am happy to have learned who she really is. She is a far cry from the horrible person I thought she was. Sometimes I wish we could go back to tolerating each other because it would be easier. If I cannot get my feelings in check, I am afraid Emmaline will notice a shift. Luckily, we are both too busy right now for anything to be obvious.
The stress of finals is overwhelming. Before we watch a movie in bed, we spend the entire afternoon in intense study sessions filled with piles of notes and the constant worry about her final calculus grade. I am feeling pretty confident that I will finish my first semester at Leland with all A’s, except in piano class. After my “lacrosse accident”, Ms. Thatcher gave me a fourteen-day extension on choosing my piece for the Beethoven concert. She made it crystal clear that because I have not played anything for her since I arrived, this is the only piece I will be graded on for the entire semester.
Sitting across the dining room table from Emmaline, I cannot suppress the anxiety I feel for the upcoming concert. I have known for weeks which piece I plan to play, but I still have not touched a piano since my mom died. Sometimes, I sit at the bench of the Briggs’s piano, staring at the keys and willing myself to play. I can never put fingers to ivory.
“Are you listening to me?” Emmaline says, shaking the table.
“What? Oh uh… no. What did you say?” I ask.
“Are you okay? You seem super out of it tonight,” she asks, looking concerned.
“I am good…” I start, but something pushes me to release the bottled-up anxiety. “Actually, I’m not. I am supposed to play in this dumb Beethoven concert before Christmas break but…I haven’t played since my mom died,” I say.
Emmaline looks at me thoughtfully for a moment before standing up to move to sit in the chair beside me. “I could help you play. Do you have a piece picked out yet?” she asks.
“Yeah, actually. There is one I perfected earlier this year with my…,” I trail off, unable to mention her. “Anyway, it’s a really hard piece. It is known as the Waldstein. It took me years to really get it. I was supposed to play it for a college audition, but never ended up doing it,” I say.
Emmaline looks at me for a moment before pulling me into a hug, catching me completely off guard. This is the first physical affection she has ever shown. Well, unless we are asleep or something traumatizing has happened. I lean into the hug, feeling her heart beating against my chest.
She pulls me tighter and whispers in my ear, “I want to hear you play, when you’re ready.” She turns to kiss my cheek softly. My heart swells, warmth spreading through my chest. I have a sudden urge to turn my face and kiss her. Instead, I pull away as a burning heat rises in my cheeks. “I’m here for you, Teagan. I hope you know that.” She says, looking disappointed for some reason. She stands and goes back to her side of the table.
I actually want to play for her.
Chapter 46
Emmaline
I’m seriously stressed about the calculus final today. Teagan and I have been studying for hours every night to get me ready. I walk into my first final of the day, AP Government, and find my seat. This one doesn’t worry me, so my plan is to finish quickly and use the extra time to study for Calculus.
Kasey leans over before the exam, “Hey, do you think the trash panda would let me pay her to write my final essay for AP Lit?She is apparently a genius, and I have to get an A,” she whispers.
I bristle. “Call her that one more time, and you’ll never see the field again,” I say through gritted teeth, my voice low and sharp. Kasey’s face goes pale, and her eyes widen in shock.