Page 21 of House of Desire

“Anastasia, will you be the spark to my flame?” I ask her in a serious voice.

She stifles a laugh and tilts the unlit wick of her candle into mine. It smokes and then catches. Taking a step back, in an equally serious voice, she gives me her agreement once more.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

The sky through the windows is painted in the first morning rays of light as I look over framed pictures of all the different women, their names on plaques. My eyes burn with exhaustion and my stomach sings out my desperate hunger as I look from picture to picture. Anastasia’s name plaque is missing from her frame, already in the yes pile. The memory of her snort followed immediately by her cursed surprise makes my face split in a grin once more.

Grabbing Mary Ella and Persephone’s names from their frames, I put them in the no pile. There is one woman I don’t remember talking to named Bethany K. While she looks nice, I can only take those who made an impression. I look at the pictures with remaining names and pick Scarlett’s, adding it to the elimination pile.

But all I can think of is Anastasia.

While falling definitely grabbed my attention, there’s a warmness about her that calls to me, as if I’m walking into the home I’ve always wanted.

The ones I want to keep are easy. Four or five of the women made lasting impressions. I didn’t think the hard part would be deciding who to eliminate. When I had signed up for the show, I knew I would just eliminate those I didn’t have a connection with. Did I think I would have a connection with everyone except the ones I needed to ask to leave at any given time? That would be a lot of women to be attracted to.

And it’s not that they aren’t attractive.

They are, as I knew they would be. The show isn’t exactly known for bringing on average looking contestants. What I didn’t anticipate is there would only be a handful I’d want to really continue with.

While I haven’t dated much, one thing I refused to ever do was lead someone on. Standing here in front of these pictures, I realize that’s exactly what I have to do.

The show will not allow me to go from twenty women to five in one night. What kind of season would that be? So I have to call out names of women I know I have no interest in.

Drew’s picture shows a pretty woman. One I’ve recognized from tabloids.

The actress has been making headlines for her over the top antics on set, as well as the affair she had with a married director. Having been in the spotlight a small amount after House of Deceit and having my continued relationship with Charlie scrutinized by, what feels like every news outlet in the country, I have a great amount of sympathy for her.

Charlie took on the brunt of the speculation around us, people saying she was sleeping with me behind Alec’s back. One of our favorite covers, that made us laugh for hours, said she was in a relationship with both of us. But they could never substantiate any of the claims, since they weren’t real.

I think about how it would feel to be Drew and thrust into the spotlight in that way again. The placard is heavy in my hand but I add her name to the pile of eliminations, wanting to protect her from the scrutiny this show could bring.

“I’m finished,” I tell the cameras sitting in the room, recording my deliberation for the audience. Production assistants swoop in, making note of the names in the pile, and they begin directing me on what will happen next.

The ladies’ voices flow to the hallway I’m standing in waiting for my cue. Jacob Jacobson talks to them, explaining how the ceremony will go, something he’ll do before every elimination. As if anyone in this house will forget.

“And now, ladies, please welcome Parker.” Jacob turns toward me and I move from my hiding spot.

A forced smile is on my face. My hair rests against my neck. With all the lights, cameras, and people in the room, I wish for what feels like the hundredth time I could put it up. I take my mark next to Jacob and put my hands behind my back.

“Hi, again, ladies,” I say, and a few of them swoon. A little intense reaction for the situation, but I’m sure the cameras picked them up well. “I want you all to know this was a really hard decision and even if you get sent home tonight, it was a pleasure meeting you. I hope you are all able to find the flame of your desire, even if it’s not me.”

Production moves around us, signaling when we need to take a pause. Luckily, they seem to have what they need for this shot and we are ready to go.

A podium is brought out to me with a single lit candle on it.

“Ladies, if you don’t receive a candle tonight, you will be eliminated,” Jacob says, his smile perfectly in place like the sun is not about to crest the horizon outside. “Parker,” he says, indicating I should start.

Anastasia stands in the crowd, holding the only lit candle. There seems to be a slight gap between her and the rest of the girls, and I feel bad for putting a target on her with my attention this evening.

I take the first candle from the basket next to me and light it from my candle. Staring out at the ladies, I take a breath.

“Carmen,” I say, and the statuesque woman gives me a demure smile and comes to stand in front of me. Her caring nature intrigues me, and the thought of spending more time with her is exciting. The feel of the cameras on us pulls me from my thoughts. “Carmen, will you accept this spark of my desire?”

She smiles at me and it does something in my chest. “It’d be my pleasure,” she says, taking the candle from my hand before returning to her spot in the lineup.

Grabbing another candle, I repeat the process of lighting it.

“Aisha,” I call out. A woman with black hair cut to her chin steps out of the crowd. Her physique reminds me of a dedicated yoga instructor. “Aisha, will you accept this spark of my desire?” I ask once she's standing in front of me. Her smile is much smaller than Carmen’s was. Shy, almost. But it’s endearing.

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