Page 110 of House of Desire

“Are you hungry?” she asks.

“Not for food,” I say, my voice rough, as I pull her against me once more.

My mouth brands her with the hot kisses I trail down her throat.

“Parker, before all of that, I think I need to know what happened between you and Brittany.”

When I pull away, I don’t let her go. Instead, I search her face. Her expression remains neutral and I know it’s time. Because I want this woman, and there’s no way to ignore the elephant in the room any longer.

“You’re right,” I say, giving her a soft kiss on the lips before spinning her to face away from me, my hands heavy on her hips, and I guide her through the house.

We take a seat on the couch facing each other, much like our first night in the House of Desire.

I close my eyes and take a breath. When I open them again, I’m settled.

Ready.

“I met Brittany in high school. From the moment I barreled into her cheerleading pyramid, we were basically inseparable. I loved her with everything I was. It felt like I was born to love her. Like the only reason I could continue breathing after meeting her was because my heart beat for her. Our senior year, we started to have sex. If there was time and even a little bit of privacy—well, you get the point.”

My eyes lose focus as I fall back into the memory.

“One day”—I swallow thickly before continuing—“one day, she told me she was pregnant.”

I remember the day perfectly, Brittany’s panicked voice stopping my heart cold.

“We were nervous, but excited. Eventually. When we told our parents, they were shocked and disappointed. They made sure Brittany wanted to keep the baby and when we reassured them that we did, everyone started talking about marriage. I was never against the idea. I figured I’d end up married to her eventually anyway, so what did it matter if it was a few years before I intended to propose or not.

“She was a bit more hesitant. She always wanted to go to college and move around the country, exploring new places. She was going to backpack across Europe with friends for the summer while I stayed and worked my summer job. But I convinced her this was the best option. The sensible option. And she agreed. I didn’t have a ring for her. I didn’t even officially ask her. She said ‘okay’ and we were engaged.”

Anya reaches out, touching my arm that’s resting along the back of the couch, rubbing her thumb back and forth. The small sign of support bolsters my heart for what’s to come.

“We graduated and got married. Rented our first apartment. It was a lot of changes. And throughout that, the pregnancy was normal. No one saw anything until it was too late. We were a week out from her due date, the final touches on the nursery being done whenever I’d come home from work.

“On one of the last ultrasounds, the technician must have noticed something because the doctor was called in immediately. After a few moments, they told Brittany to get dressed and brought us into their office.”

Sadness drops my shoulders as I bleed for the kids Brittany and I were, and the crushing weight we were under.

“They had missed a congenital heart defect. He was given a month to live, but not more than a year. There was so much medical talk and after that, I could barely hear anything they said, but the gist was there were no options and my son was going to die.

“To say Brittany fell apart is, well, it’s an understatement. As I held her, I knew I had to be strong for her, so I pushed down all my emotions. All my fear, my sadness, my worry. My grief. I shoved it all aside and held her. We were scheduled for her to be induced and within twenty-four hours, we were parents.”

“What was your son’s name?” she asks. My eyes fill with tears as I smile. It’s a simple question, but it means more than any other.

“Wyatt Parker. Wyatt for Brittany’s dad and Parker after me and mine.”

She smiles at me, linking our fingers together.

“That’s a handsome name.”

I nod, my chin quivering.

I love this woman. This one with sadness, but not pity, written all over her face as I give her the darkest parts of me. As I share the only thing left of my son.

“He was alive for a day. He was so tiny in my arms. We never put him down. There wasn’t a second of his life our arms weren’t around him. I loved him more than anything in the entire world in those few minutes. Once he was gone, Brittany fell into a deep depression and I kept pushing everything aside and went back to work, making sure on top of losing our son, we didn’t lose our house. I didn’t know how to be a good husband even without all the grief. I know that now.

“Anyway, as time passed, we pulled apart from each other. It was impossible to know how to reach her across the chasm that was Wyatt between us. The angrier she got, the more I pulled away until all we were doing was fighting. And then one day, she left in the middle of the night. After a few years of trying to find her, I filed for divorce in absentia. It was granted after the appropriate amount of time given to let her respond.

“The day we found out about the defect is the same date, years later, our marriage officially ended.”

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