Page 105 of House of Desire

“Sorry for trapping you then,” I say, almost gently, shutting my door softly in her face.

“You’re late,” Charlie says, opening the door for me.

“Brittany is currently living with me and we got into a bit of a tiff. I brought wine,” I tell her, shoving the bottle into her hands and pushing my way inside the door as she stares at me in shock.

I make my way through the house and to the kitchen where Courtney is standing at the island, nibbling on some cheese and crackers.

“Finally. I’m starving. Charlie, can we eat?” Courtney asks.

Her husband is sitting on the couch, playing with their son while he and Alec discuss something. The air is perfumed with Italian spices and I’m hoping for Charlie’s homemade lasagna.

I call out a hello to the guys before pressing a kiss on Courtney’s cheek and moving to the drink cart off to the side.

“Anyone need a drink?” A chorus of no’s sounds, so I continue with making an old fashioned for myself.

“Hey, question for you,” Court says, swallowing a bite of cracker. Charlie walks in and gently sets the bottle of wine on the counter. “Would you be willing to come by the house and price out a few things we want to have done around the place?”

“Not a problem. If you text me on Monday, I’ll get you added to my calendar,” I tell her, putting the glass decanter down.

“Amazing. How’s Anya? Is she not coming?”

Not wanting to get into the current chaos with everyone, I say simply, “She’s good. She’s really busy with this huge job she landed. Actually, she mentioned wanting to hire some baking help. You should give her a call. I know you mentioned helping her at the wedding.”

“That’d be perfect! Just give me her number,” she says, picking up another cracker and cheese. “Charles, I need you to get the pizza out of the oven. Please? I’m begging.”

Courtney’s pleading seems to snap Charlie out of her shock. Moving to the oven, she pulls oven mitts out of the drawer and pulls the hot pizza out.

“You all go ahead and get started. Parker and I need to talk in private for a second.” She puts the pizza on an awaiting cooling rack, drops the mitts on the counter, and grabs my wrist, pulling me out the back door.

“Start from the beginning,” she says, crossing her arms and giving me a stern look.

I know I’m not going to get out of this, so I start from the moment I left her house last week, to my date with Anya, and the surprise of Brittany on the porch. By the time I’m done talking, I know we will be eating the cold slices of pizza that haven’t been consumed yet.

“That’s a lot,” she says, moving us over to the sun bed, sitting on the end. I drop down next to her and we watch the water undulate for a few moments in silence before she speaks again. “You have to go talk to Anastasia. Knowing her the small amount I do, she’s trying to give you space to work things out with Brittany. Maybe you need to do something a bit more drastic.”

“Are you telling me to show up on her doorstep? Because I’ve been fighting the urge all week.”

“You did it to help me and Alec get back together. Now do it for yourself. Unless you want to be with Brittany?” She looks at me, no judgment on her face, simply curiosity and love. My body relaxes as I realize my best friend isn’t going to go anywhere. No matter what I do, she’s going to be there.

“I love you,” I tell her, overcome with her simple support, bumping her with my shoulder.

“I love you, too, my towering Viking.”

“I don’t want to be with Brittany. I just want closure.”

“Then you need to talk to her. Really talk to her. Not yell. Not throwing things in each other’s faces. Not be an asshole. Really talk. Because if you want it to work with Anya, with anyone, you need to be able to fully close the door on this chapter. You need to forgive the young man inside yourself that didn’t know how to handle everything being thrown at you. You’re not that guy anymore.”

I nod, knowing she’s right. Knowing all of my work with Sharon has avoided this moment but here, with my best friend, knowing she loves me for me, I can finally accept I did the best I could, and even if it wasn’t perfect, that doesn’t mean I’m not worth being loved.

Out of nowhere, my eyes fill with tears. I fight them, trying to keep them from falling, but it’s futile.

For the first time, I cry for my lost son.

Charlie holds me as my grief pours from me in a raging river of tears. Her arms come around me as she holds me, being silently strong for the both of us. Time passes as the well of my sadness empties, and as I wipe my face dry, I feel the lightness starting to take hold.

“Thank you,” I tell her, looking at her in the dim light.

“I will always be here, Parker. For whatever you need.”

---