Page 100 of House of Desire

On our first date.

“What’s wrong then? And don’t lie and say nothing. I know you better than that.”

“I’m pretty much trying to figure out if I’m still going to have a boyfriend after tonight.”

“He’s your boyfriend? But he’s back at his house with his ex-wife? And you’re okay with that?”

“TBD on the boyfriend thing, but until I’m told otherwise, yes. It’s new. Tonight was our first date being together. And yes, he’s with her. In fact, I told him to talk to her. They have a history, not that I have any idea what that history is, and I could tell how torn he was on wanting me to stay and needing to talk to her. I made the decision for him.”

Saying it out loud makes me feel like I made the worst mistake of my life.

“That’s pretty damn understanding of you.”

“If you had an ex show up on your doorstep finally ready to talk, wouldn’t you want to take the opportunity?” I ask him. A part of me is really torn. Do I like that I’m not with Parker? No. I wish I could be there for him during this. But they need time to work through whatever happened, so Parker can finally have closure.

“I guess so, depending on the circumstances around the breakup.”

We ride in silence for a while. I turn up the radio when my favorite song comes on, singing softly under my breath.

“What if I lose him?” I whisper when the song is over, putting voice to my biggest fear.

“If you lose him to his ex-wife, then I don’t really think you ever had him to begin with.”

We pull into my driveway and Dom shuts off the car, but neither of us get out. If I needed to sit here for two hours, he’d sit here for every moment.

And only complain when he got hungry.

“What do you want?” he asks, turning to look at me.

“I want him.”

“Then just make sure he knows that you want him, even if you have to take some time and space.”

I nod and undo my seatbelt and open the door. “Thanks for coming to pick me up.”

“Make sure to leave me a five-star review on Uber,” he says, turning over the engine.

My footsteps feel slow and leaden, but eventually I make it inside the house, Dominic waiting until I close my front door before he leaves, just as Dad taught him.

A shower sounds amazing and without waiting another second, I make my way into my bathroom. The pale-yellow room usually makes me happy. White tile goes halfway up the wall. At first, I hated how everything was original to the house built in the 1960s, but as I’ve lived here, the style has grown on me.

I reach past my white shower curtain with various colored flowers. Giving the hot water tap a quarter turn, I count to ten, and then continue turning, the water immediately steaming. Adding some cool, I find the perfect temperature. The water runs for a moment as I strip out of my clothes.

Stepping into the water, I think about what Dom said, and I realize he’s right. If Parker wants to go back to his ex-wife, then there’s nothing I can do about that. Nothing I would want to do.

I want Parker to be happy and if that’s with her, then all I can do is remove myself from the picture.

My phone sits on my chest, hands resting on top of it, hoping it vibrates with a text from Anya.

When Brittany asked if she could stay in the guest room, my jaw almost dropped. She hadn’t contacted me for years and now, not only does she want back in my life, she wants a place to stay? But then she gave me those big eyes she always did in high school, and my traitorous heart gave a small squeeze.

I showed her to the room before making my way to mine, making sure to lock the door so there would be absolutely no confusion about if she was welcome in my space.

And then I paced.

And paced. I debated texting Anya and asking her if I could come over to talk, but decided against it not wanting to pressure her. In the end I sent a short message telling her how great of a time I had with her and that I wished she was here before finally laying down around three in the morning.

The room lightens as dawn begins to break. Not able to wait any longer, I climb out of bed and into the shower after stripping out of my clothes. I had moved all of my meetings for this morning after Anya had agreed to go on a date with me. I didn’t want to be presumptuous she would spend the night with me, but I didn’t want to rush away if she was in my bed.

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