Page 52 of Wish You Would

Blank. Gone were the questions I’d planned to ask once I got her here. The ones about her date with Halle, and what had happened that led her to kissing me senseless on that sidewalk. I’d tried to get them out the entire drive here, but I didn’t want to jinx this. I didn’t want to ruin it.

I didn’t want to miss out on seeing where this went.

“You okay?” she asked as she got out of the car. Her gaze turned assessing, verging on worried. “You’re not gonna run away again, are you? Because, considering we’re at your place, that could make things very awkward.”

“Ahh, shit.” I laughed, closing the car door behind her. “Now you know where I live. Clearly, I didn’t think this through.”

She joined in my laughter, craning her neck to take in our surroundings. I forced my eyes away, looking at this place from her viewpoint. Luke’s townhouse was just outside of the business district, and was all modern lines and gray brick and huge windows. It looked expensive as fuck. Probably because it was expensive as fuck.

“Geez,” she murmured, turning her blue eyes back to me. “This is fancy.”

“Right?” I linked our fingers together and led her around the back. Luke’s bedroom was in the front, and I didn’t want to wake him. “Luckily, my landlord lets me live here for a steal.” Fishing my keys from my bag, I unlocked the door and waved her inside. “Of course, it means I have to put up with his unsolicited advice and shitty taste in coffee, but what’s a girl gonna do in this economy?”

We walked into the kitchen and I flipped on the light. “You want anything?” I asked as I took my coat off and hung it in its spot next to the door. I held out my hand, indicating she do the same, and tried not to inhale the sweetness of her scent as she handed me her own coat.

I failed. Just a little bit, though.

She stood where I left her, twisting a lock of hair around her fingers. I followed the motion, my next breath lodging in my throat. “Are you nervous?” I asked, seeking my answer in her face. This was a mistake, I thought. It’s too fast. I shouldn’t have brought her home. I shou—

“What?” Her brow furrowed. “No, I’m the opposite of nervous. I’m un-nervous.” She smiled, but her fingers still wound around that piece of hair, creating what I knew would be a glossy ringlet.

“Parker.” I stepped forward, my hands covering hers. “It’s okay if you’re nervous.”

Her eyes fell to our hands, cheeks flushing. “Sorry,” she said, laughing. “I guess I’m a little nervous.”

Gently, I pulled her hands away from her hair and pressed them to my chest. She searched my face, eyes burning, and I stood there, letting her. My heart banged unevenly, like there was a tiny drunk drummer in my chest, unable to keep time. The words I wanted to say were thick in my throat. Words like, Please stay and I want you like I want my next breath.

Words like, I promise I won’t hurt you.

The last part burned like acid as I swallowed it down.

I had no intentions of hurting her. But, as I’d learned in the last few years of, well, being me, intentions were often meaningless.

My fingers tightened around hers where they still lay against my slamming heart. She looked at me with such openness, as if she had no reason to doubt. As if she could believe in me. And, fuck, did I want to deserve that.

I wanted to. But I didn’t.

“Parker,” I started, already hating myself for the words I was about to say.

“I’d like some tea,” she interrupted suddenly, whirling away from me. My mouth snapped shut as I watched her go from cupboard to cupboard, pulling things out, gathering a collection on the counter. “You want to get the water going?”

“I…” My hands dropped to my sides. I stood there, balancing on a knife’s edge. One small move in either direction, and my fate would be sealed. I knew which way I should go. In my mind, I played it through: me, telling Parker this was a bad idea. Me, driving Parker home. Me, coming back here, alone. Alone and haunted by the could have beens.

It was the right move. I knew to my bones it was the right move.

But then Parker glanced over her shoulder, the softest smile on her face, and my manic heartbeat slowed. A warmth radiated through me, like I was lying on the beach in Spain, golden sun bathing my entire body. I smiled back.

Then, I leapt off the wrong side of the blade.

22

22 PARKER

FADE INTO YOU

When I crashed into Gigi on the sidewalk, this was not where I saw the evening ending.

Or, maybe it was beginning?

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