Page 107 of Wish You Would

Gigi looked me over for a long moment. I shifted in my seat, sure I’d said too much. I was good at saying too much. Finally, she grinned, shaking her head. Her smile, the first of the evening, was brilliant and it knocked the air right from my lungs. “You’re completely hijacking my grand gesture, you know that?”

I laughed. “Sorry, sorry.” Straightening, I folded my hands primly on the table. “Continue.”

She narrowed her eyes, mouth twisting to fight off another smile. “Why, thank you for granting me permission to perform my own grand gesture. You know, the one I spent days planning.”

“You’ve been planning this for days?”

Her expression said duh and I laughed again. “From the moment I lost you in the crowd at The Ledge.” She picked up her fork and raked it over the top of her pancake, spreading the melted butter over it like a breakfast Zen garden. “I looked for you, you know. But your sneaky ass had already left.”

“I wouldn’t say sneaky. I walked out the main entrance and everything.”

She glared. I grinned.

“Anyway.” Putting her fork down, she took a deep breath and let it out slow. “I spent days figuring out what to say to you tonight. Huge, sweeping apologies and promises never to hurt you again, and whatnot. But now that you’ve taken the wind out of my sails…I got nothing.”

“What—"

She stood. “Guess that’s it. I gave it the old college try.” Looking down at me, she added, “Word of advice, Samuels. Next time someone tries to grand gesture you, maybe let them?” Then, she booped my nose and turned away.

“Wait!” I grabbed her hand before she could get very far. “No, come back.”

Facing me again, she quirked her brow. “Yes?”

“I don’t want a next time. I want this time.” I turned in my seat and wrapped my other hand around hers and pulled her closer. “I want you.”

“Oh, yeah?” Gigi stepped between my knees, dark eyes fixed on my face.

“Yeah.” Dropping her hands, I wrapped my arms around her waist. Her hands found my face, cradling it in her palms as her thumbs traced over my cheekbones. My eyes fluttered. “Grand gesture me.”

“Oh, now you want my grand gesture,” she said, but her voice held no conviction. Instead, it was soft, husky.

“Gigi,” I murmured back, and she laughed.

“Okay.” Dropping to her knees, she knelt before me. I wound my arms around her shoulders, threading my fingers through the short hair at the nape of her neck. Her breathing stuttered as she leaned into my touch. “Okay,” she said again, as if she was hyping herself up. Then, she fixed her eyes on mine.

“I love you, Parker. I don’t know when it happened, or how I let it happen, but I love you.” Her dark eyes burned bright as she said the words, warming me straight to my marrow. “I haven’t been in a place to let people in for a long time. I’ve kind of…put myself on an island in the middle of nowhere, no life rafts, no communication with the outside world. I thought that was what I deserved.”

I inhaled, prepared to disagree, but she narrowed her eyes, stopping me. Pressing my lips together, I nodded and let her continue.

“After my dad died…I kinda shut down. It was all about survival. One day to the next. It hurt to exist. It hurt to breathe. But I deserved the hurt, you know? It was my punishment for letting my dad down. For failing my brother.” She blinked, and a single tear slid down her cheek. I wiped it away with my thumb, letting my touch linger.

Her shoulders lifted and dropped beneath my arms as she took a deep breath, then let it out. “So,” she continued, “when you and I…well, it was easy for me to convince myself that I didn’t deserve it.” Her eyes met mine, gleaming with an entire universe of emotions. “I didn’t deserve you.”

I wanted to disagree, to tell her that she deserved the whole darn world and I wanted to hand it to her. Right now. This very moment. But she quirked her brows, silencing me before I could speak.

“But,” she went on once she was sure I wasn’t going to interrupt. “After many, many, many conversations with the people in my life, it would seem that I was wrong. That I was punishing myself for the past, for things no longer in my control.” She smiled and rolled her eyes. “Something, something, martyr, something, I think was what Vaughn said.”

I laughed. “That sounds like him.”

“Right?” She grinned, a flicker of light in her eyes for the first time since she began speaking. “I do such a good impression.”

Sliding my hands over her shoulders, I found hers and linked them together in my lap. “He’s right, though. Probably, everyone else is, too.”

Her lip curled. “Ugh. Don’t tell Luke, he’d never let it go.”

Laughing again, I pulled her closer, parting my knees so she could settle between them. She laid her head on my chest. My heart swelled. “You’ve clearly heard it all from everyone, and I’m sure I’ve got nothing new to contribute to this topic, but I will say this.” Tilting her face up, I met her eyes. They were a calamitous sea of emotion. I wanted be the calm in her storm. Always. “Your past mistakes do not define who you are now. You can spend forever repenting for something everyone else has forgiven you for, or you can just…be happy.”

She nodded, blinking back tears. I fought the urge to pull her in tight against my chest, and never let her go. But I wasn’t done.

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