Page 101 of Wish You Would

“Shit.” I leaned over the balcony, watching the current band perform. They were an indie rock band from the Hope Falls area. In another moment, I’d have been entranced by their performance. I’d have been pulled in by the singer’s vocals, the catchy guitar riffs. Now, though? They were merely the soundtrack to my disappointment.

Anya joined me, elbows on the railing. Vaughn leaned in on my other side. They were both silent, Anya’s fingers tapping in time with the song, Vaughn’s head nodding, until the song transitioned into a new one. Then, Anya straightened.

“Walk with me,” she said, arm extended. “Talk with me.

I looked from her to Vaughn, who shrugged and went back to watching the show. Swallowing a lump of dread, I pushed away from the railing and took her arm. “Remember me fondly,” I said to Vaughn as his girlfriend led me away.

Anya pulled me through the mass of dancing bodies until we reached a quiet corner, the music a mere throb in the background. Then, she dropped my arm and cocked her hip, hand resting on it. Her green eyes pinned me in place like lasers. I swallowed and glanced around. Not a witness in sight.

“You should know,” I said, body tensing, “that I can scream really loud.”

She arched a sharp brow. “Did you do something that would warrant violence, Gigi?”

I blinked back the sudden bite of tears. Folding my arms over my chest, I nodded. “I fucked up.”

“Clearly.” Anya’s hand fell from her hip, threat neutralized. For the moment. “You hurt my kid sister, so I would be completely justified in kicking your ass right now.”

At the mention of Parker, all fight and flight left my body. Dropping my arms to my sides, I nodded. “You would be.”

“However.” She sighed, throwing her head back as if cursing some unknown entity. “Your brother asked me not to. Something about how violence isn’t the answer, and I needed to let you two sort your shit out on your own.” The tone of her voice let me know exactly what she thought of that. With a snarl, she continued. “So, instead of making you regret the day you ever laid eyes on Parker, I’m gonna communicate like a civilized human. Whatever that means.”

Despite myself, I snorted. Anya’s gaze sharpened. “Something funny about what’s going on here?”

“No.” I cleared my throat and shook my head. “Not at all.”

I meant it. The fact that Anya’s fist was being held back by the thin thread of Vaughn’s request meant that it would take next to nothing to snap. As much as I deserved it, I very much preferred to not get punched in the face by this scary Amazon woman.

She eyed me up and down and leaned her shoulder against the wall. “So, because I love your brother—and only because I love him—I’m willing to reserve judgment until we talk.”

“By judgment, you mean your fists, right?”

Her gaze flickered. I took an involuntary step back. “Now is not the time for snark, Gigi.”

“No, I know.” I put my hands up in surrender. “Just…clarifying.”

“Mm-hmm.” Somehow, she glared even harder. “Talk.”

I dragged a shaky breath into my lungs and leaned my back against the wall. Fixing my eyes on the flash of light against the opposite wall, I spoke. “The first thing you need to know is, it was never my intention to hurt her.” I glanced sideways. “I never wanted to hurt her. She’s…” I shook my head, searching for the right words. Only one came to mind. “Everything.”

My vision blurred. I blinked to clear it. Wringing my hands together, I stared at the glisten of light on my black polish. “I just…I thought it was a choice, you know? Her or the band. The band or the bar. I thought I had to choose.”

“You didn’t choose her?”

I looked at Anya as if she’d told me aliens had landed in the middle of Riverview Drive. “Of course I chose her. I would choose her over and over and over, if she’d let me.”

Realization dawned on her face. She rested her back against the wall and faced forward like me. “But she wouldn’t let you.”

“She wouldn’t let me.”

Almost in unison, we slid down the wall and sat on the floor. Silence fell over us, the muffled sound of someone covering “Everlong” providing a soundtrack to the moment. Idly, I thought about the missed opportunity of adding the song to our set. Ryan would kill it. Or maybe—

“You love her?”

I let my head drop to the side, looking at the other woman. Her eyes were already on me, scrutinizing. Assessing. I didn’t look away. Didn’t flinch as I replied: “I do.”

Anya nodded, as if she’d known the answer. “I think she loves you, too.”

My heart swelled painfully. I blinked back a fresh sting of tears, to no avail. They slid hot down my cheeks. I looked away, letting them fall. I think so, too, I thought, but didn’t dare say out loud. At least, I hope so.

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