I get some more advice from the crew and then I leave. I have to find Maria, but I need a plan of action first. I can’t simply show up at her door after months of being a total jerk, and expect everything to be okay.
I get to my house and start making plans. I pray I can fix this. I always said a prayer on the field before a game, but other than that I haven’t been a man known to drop to my knees. Right here, that’s exactly what I’m doing. This woman was everything to me, and at the first struggle in our relationship, I failed her. I have to fix it. I just hope she still loves me enough to accept my weaknesses, and to take me back.
I’ve had a hell of a time without her, and I don’t want to do it anymore. I vow to never do this to her again. I vow to never not listen again. I now have to figure out a way to make her believe me. I screwed up, and I’m on bended knee praying she’ll believe how sorry I am. I’ll prove I can admit my weaknesses, and improve myself. I’ll prove I’m good enough for her . . . even if I don’t feel that I am.
Chapter Twenty-four
Maria
I smile as I push off the floor and lift my knees up, causing my chair to do a spin. I hear a few chuckles as my staff looks over. I give them a cheeky grin before pushing off one more time to do another circle. Sitting behind a desk isn’t my favorite thing to do, but in my own office that I’ve built in the past two months, I’m not hating it. That doesn’t mean I don’t need to do some spins now and then.
Starting over isn’t easy, but I’m doing it . . . and I’m doing it damn well if I do say so myself. After leaving that toxic, horrific environment of my old job, I’ve poured every minute of every day I’m not sleeping into creating my own small publishing house. I’ve been shocked and humbled at the reaction from peers and authors alike.
I have ten employees and a hundred authors already. When people found out what happened at my old place, they left in droves. Sure, I might be small, but I have contacts who trust me. They knew that article wasn’t mine. I didn’t even need to explain myself. They fully trusted me. It breaks my heart that Mason didn’t. Then again, we were only together a few months, where these industry people have been with me for years. I’m grateful I’ve always worked and lived my life with integrity.
“How are my amazing people here at Truth Press?” I ask the room.
Cheers erupt from my editors. “We couldn’t be happier,” Brooke says. “I just spoke with Sylvia Embers and she’s ready to sign.”
George jumps up and rings the bell and we all cheer. “We’ve broke a hundred,” I say as I clap my hands. “I couldn’t do this without each one of you.”
It’s been a daunting task to get this going, but I’ve lived and breathed this life for the past ten years or so. The only difference now is that it’s my company, and this makes me want it even more. I have something to prove, and I want to showcase the talent of established authors while finding new voices to introduce the world to. I named my company Truth Press to showcase how important integrity and honesty is to me.
I look around the buzzing room. There are no separate offices here. We’re a team and work best together where we can chat and come up with ideas as one. We do have a private room if someone needs to make a call in silence, but it’s rarely used. We have nothing to hide from each other. I might own this company, but we’re a team. The more my team does, the better the company does. That’s why they’re already making more than they made at previous jobs. The sky’s the limit for what they can do.
There are piles of manuscripts for us to go through and our email fills every minute of the day. There’s certainly no shortage of work. The happiness level is so much higher for all of us. We’re thrilled to be away from the corporate chaos of a company that only loved us if we impressed them. We all want to be impressive here, but it’s because we like each other and we like this place. There aren’t corporate monsters above us who don’t give a crap about our lives.
We’re all workaholics, but we also have lives outside of this place. Well, I barely have a life, but someday I will. I fully support my employees family and friend time. What’s the point of working if a person can’t enjoy the fruits of their labor? We’re supposed to love our jobs, but they’re still jobs. This is something I’ve learned. We work for our pride and to support ourselves, but we also work so we can enjoy the world around us.
If I’m being fully honest, my days are spectacular, and my evenings are busy as I continue working on building this company, but my nights are a little difficult. With the bustle of the day fading, I’m left alone with my thoughts . . . and that’s when the loneliness hits the hardest. This is when I have to remind myself that yes, Mason broke my heart, but it doesn’t mean I’m alone. It just means that relationship didn’t work out. I still have Nikki, and still have my family.
I’ll also find romance again someday. I won’t give up on all men just because I’ve only had frogs so far. One day I’ll find my prince. I’m not in a hurry. As much as I say this, though, it’s a mantra that feels more like a band-aid on a wound that needs stiches. I never have been too good at going to the doctor’s office.
I look at the picture on my desk of Nikki and me at our launch party for this new publishing house. I’d never make it through life without Nikki. She’s always been my biggest fan, as I am hers. We don’t talk about Mason which has to be difficult for her as she’s still dating Bentz. It’s okay, though. I’m thrilled she’s so happy. This is the longest relationship she’s ever had. I hope it all works out. If it does and they get married I’m sure I can attend the same event as Mason by then. It would be at least a year before that can happen. I’m sure I’ll be incredibly happy by then.
My phone buzzes and I see a message from Nikki telling me not to be late for lunch. Since having my own company I’ve been eating much more at my desk than going out. She forces me to leave at least two days a week. I always love it when I do. I quickly reply telling her I wouldn’t miss it.
Someone walks in the front door and I see them talking to Beth, one of our assistants. She looks up and sends a smile my way. “Maria, we’ve got an author who’d like to speak with you,” she calls.
I straighten up, recognizing the woman immediately. “Come on over, Amy,” I tell her as I stand. She’s beaming as she makes her way toward me.
“How are you, Maria?” she asks, greeting me with a hug.
“Busy and wonderful,” I tell her.
“As soon as I heard you were on your own, I found out where and decided to come in instead of calling. I had to see the new place.”
“It’s small and wonderful. We have an incredible team working here,” I tell her.
“I can see that.” She waves at a few of the editors she recognizes. Amy’s a top one-hundred author and coveted by every publishing house. It’s an honor she’s standing here with me now. She’s young, only in her mid thirties with two children, a wonderful husband, and just hitting her stride. She hands me over a manuscript.
“You know how bored I get writing one genre. This is my dive into a psychological thriller, and I’m excited about it. My husband says it’s the best he’s ever read.” She giggles. “I’m not trying to toot my own horn. You know I’m more critical of myself than anyone else is, but I love this so much. I’ve been working on it off and on for two years. I’ve held onto it until I was ready to share. I think this is the perfect moment with the perfect person.”
“You can’t imagine how excited I am to hear this. I have no doubt it’s incredible,” I tell her.
“How can I not want to come to Truth Publishing? You’ve always been someone I’ve trusted and there’s no one who will work harder for her authors.”
“This means the world to me, Amy. Signing you will make others come here in droves. They want to work alongside the best of the best, and there’s no doubt you’re the best there is.”