Page 82 of Mountain Hero

“But there’s also a good chance I would have still been stuck there.” My stomach lurches at the thought. “If he hadn’t dragged me along, who knows how much longer…”

“Shit.” It’s a low curse.

I move onto Enzo’s lap and hold his gaze. “Is it my fault that Thomas took me?”

His response is immediate. “No. Of course not.”

“I wondered, for a while. I’d think back, looking for the red flags I missed. For a while, I blamed myself.”

“Winter.”

“But then I realized it didn’t matter if I missed a sign. Thomas is a bad person, and he’s responsible for what he did. Not me. And it’s not my fault for trusting him. It’s his.”

Enzo sighs. “I keep wondering. If I’d just sold to him after Uncle Caleb died?—”

“But you didn’t do anything wrong, Enzo. Your uncle wanted you to have this place. And you made him a promise. I would have made the same decision. Without question.”

“I guess…” He shakes his head. “I know you’re right. Rationally, I do. But seeing you there, in danger… it’s hard not to blame myself. And—” A long pause. “It brings back some old memories, too. Things I still feel guilty about.”

“Like what?”

“My uncle. Not being here when he was sick. I know he didn’t tell me, but I still feel shitty about it. And before that… you’ve heard me talk about Jeff.”

“Your teammate. The one who was killed in action.”

“Yeah.” Sorrow darkens his gaze. “Jeff was our explosives expert. He could disarm anything. But we got stuck in this building that was filled with bombs. Jeff thought he could get us out by disarming one. I had a bad feeling, but he insisted he could do it.”

The pain in Enzo’s eyes makes my chest ache. And I’m seized by an instinctive need to be closer to him. Just sitting like this isn’t enough. I need to wrap myself around Enzo like a protective blanket, to hug him and trail soft kisses along his neck. To give him my strength, just as he’s given to me.

Once I’m situated, Enzo embraces me, his breath feathering over my hair. For a minute, we just sit quietly, as Enzo strokes his hand down my back. Then he says, “He didn’t make it, obviously. And I kept wondering; what if I’d tried harder to convince him? Would Jeff have listened?”

“Enzo…”

“I know, he made the choice. And it’s what we all signed up for. But the guilt… it stuck with me. And then Uncle Caleb… That’s why I didn’t ask you out the first time I saw you. I was still struggling, and I didn’t think I could handle a relationship then.”

My throat goes thick. “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be. There’s nothing to be sorry about. I just wish I’d manned up sooner. If I hadn’t waited… maybe you would have dated me instead of Thomas. And he never would have done those terrible things to you.”

Now it all makes sense. Now I understand why Enzo’s been quiet. Why he’s been upset. And it hurts to know he’s been struggling with it on his own. But I understand. For a guy like Enzo, he’s not used to sharing things like that. Things he might consider a weakness.

Not that they are. Not even a little.

Lifting my head from his shoulder, I cup Enzo’s jaw and look at him steadily. “You did nothing wrong. Nothing. Not when Jeff died, and not with your uncle. And your uncle… I bet he would be so proud of you. So proud.”

A hint of moisture dampens his eyes. “Winter…”

“And it wasn’t your fault, what Dennis did. I promise. I understand feeling guilty. Trust me. I felt that way about my parents for a long time. But—” My voice firms. “It is not your fault. And if you start to feel that way, talk to me, okay? When I’m having a hard time, or you are, we can work through these things together. We’re a team.”

Before Enzo can reply, I add one more thing. “Also, I would really love it if you’d come to counseling with me sometimes. I think it would help to have you there. And it might help you, too. Will you think about it?”

Enzo stares at me, a depth of emotion in his gaze. Then he says, “Yes, I’ll go with you. I think you’re right. It could help. And if I want you to tell me everything, it’s only fair I do the same.”

Warmth swells in my chest and my heart feels like a balloon expanding to infinity.

I love him so much.

“I love you.” After I press my lips to his, I repeat, “I love you so much. And I’ll do anything to make you happy. Anything.”

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