Page 18 of Knot Guilty

Dressing as quickly and quietly as possible, I hold my breath when checking the door. So much for not sneaking out. “Shut up, you harpy,” I whisper to my inner self.

The deadbolt isn’t engaged, and the one-way lock will re-engage as soon as the door closes behind me. Thankfully, the door doesn’t squeak when I open it. I cringe when the light from the hallway spills inside Maxen’s apartment and rush through the opening, closing the door quietly.

Now, I’m home free and head toward the stairs and my car waiting outside. A quick check of my phone reveals the time to be nearly three am. Me showing up that late to the Knot Corp compound won’t alarm our security people. They’re used to seeing us come and go at all hours because of the nature of our work.

The drive to work takes a little longer from here than from my place on the river, but the extra minutes give me more time to wipe the just-fucked look off my face.

Arriving at Knot Corp, I head straight for the locker room, tie up my hair, and take a quick shower to wash the smell of sweat and sex off my skin.

The staff dorms are my next stop. I sit on my usual bed and set an alarm for ninety minutes. I’ll get a little more sleep and be up early enough to check in with our pilots and Colonel Heathman before takeoff.

Lying in bed, staring up at the darkness, the last thought to cross my mind is, what the hell have I done?

Two fresh cups of coffee are set on the table next to my empty one from earlier. Soon after, my boss lowers his big frame into the seat next to mine.

I’ve been sitting in this chair for over an hour, staring at this screen without seeing it. I’d long ago checked everything that needed to be checked and reached out to everyone that needed to be contacted. Since then, all I can think about is what I did last night.

I had sex with Maxen. That wasn’t the goal when I drove to his apartment. At least, I think it wasn’t. Talk or argue, probably. Ruefully admit that he was right about my attraction to him, sure. Say less than twenty words and get fucked to oblivion; not exactly on the agenda.

But here I am, without having spared one damned thought about the aftermath. He’s going to show up this morning and either be pissed that I snuck out or amused that I ran. Pissed, I can deal with as long as he keeps his mouth shut around the rest of the team.

Suppose Maxen isn’t angry, and his wicked sexy grin makes an appearance. I have three other possible scenarios to contend with. Maxen could be handsy, staking a public claim, continue our private game of cat and mouse, or prove that I was right in thinking he was only playing me.

He’s not the PDA type, so I don’t think I have to worry about the handsy shit. Beyond that, I don’t know what to expect or what I even want. Do I want to be one and done with Maxen? Would I want to date him? If he was jerking me around, where do I hide his body?

The corner of my mouth turns up in a smile, and Knot clears his throat. “Any changes?”

I shake my head and blink a few times. “Uh, none.”

I yawn and reach for the new coffee he so generously prepared. “Thanks. I was due for a refill.”

He sort of grunts in response. Dillan Knot will never be accused of talking too much. And while it’s not unusual for him to check in with me or whoever is lead over an op before deployment, this little pow-wow is.

I don’t ask what he wants. When Knot has something on his mind, you’ll know when, and only when, he’s ready to tell you. Waiting him out, I look up to see him scanning the ops planning room. Several desks with inlaid screens radiate around a digital command board in a half-circle. Only two out of the twelve ceiling lights, security lights, are on. I didn’t see the need to illuminate the entire room.

My screen is in its elevated position, allowing me to interact with it like the touch screen of a laptop.

My boss clears his throat and leans his elbows on the table beside mine. And, apparently, pow-wow time is now. “Is everything all right, Sadie? You seem to have had a couple of off days.”

It’s on my mind to feed Knot the same bullshit I’ve been feeding others, but I know that won’t work. Other than Aaron or my brothers, no one knows me better than Dillan Knot. “Sir, I’m told that I suffer from blindness.”

At Knot’s panicked reaction, I backpedal and decide to try that again. “Not in the literal sense, but in virtually every other way. Maxen asserts that I don’t know some of my teammates as well as I think I do.”

“That seems like an unimportant observation unless he wanted to cast suspicion about something.”

I shrug and say, “That’s what I thought at first. Then I wondered if he was just trying to psych me out, distract me.”

Knot seems to consider my theory, the clench of his jaw communicating how he feels about someone messing with his team. “If he was looking to best you during that match two days ago, the mental element would make you easier to defeat.”

“Yeah, only, he and I didn’t talk until after we’d fought.”

“And you did score the win.” He lowers his head and cuts his eyes up at me. “Albeit a poor showing.”

“Thanks for reminding me,” I reply with a shoulder roll.

Knot takes a long draw off his coffee and stares at the map on my screen. “Sadie, what did Gates say to you that wrecked two days of training?”

I hesitate to answer his question, especially after what happened last night. “Sir, it was of a… personal nature.”

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