Page 76 of Knot Guilty

Aaron

It’s been two weeks since Knot put me on a plane back to the states. Two weeks of texting, calling, and leaving messages without a response. Two weeks without Sadie.

I haven’t gone a week without seeing her in the last decade. Not once. And never more than a couple of days without at least talking to her. I’m worried about her. Maxen did a lot of damage to Sadie’s body, mind… and her heart. She nearly died at his hand, and I have no idea how she’s doing.

All I do know is that I miss my best friend. That, and I have no more secrets from her. She knows everything, and I’ve not had the chance to talk to her about any of it.

Damn that bastard! I throw my wrapped fist into the bag again, wishing it could be Maxen’s face instead. Or maybe my own for being a coward all these years.

I don’t know how the hell that asshole learned the details of my divorce or why he was so dead set on punishing me by hurting Sadie. I hate that I let him do it.

Spatch nods as he walks by on his way out. He doesn’t try to get me to leave, having lost that argument a time or five in the last two weeks. Except for my team, everyone here has been walking on eggshells around me since word came out about the treason and Maxen being responsible.

Thankfully, the sordid details are known only to Knot, our top company lawyer, and the federal prosecutor. The charges against me were dropped immediately, and the feds switched their focus to Maxen “Smoke” Gates.

The feds spent a day here going through his equipment locker and grilling any and all employees that had direct contact with the dick. Ever since then, the whole place has felt different. People aren’t as quick to joke around, no one taunts each other on the training floor, and… Sadie’s not here to settle everyone down.

She’ll be back, though I don’t expect things at the compound will ever be the same. Knot’s PMCs are still suffering the loss of Brock and now Maxen’s betrayal. Each day, whispered questions about Sadie’s return make the rounds through the company.

People know that she nearly died at Maxen’s hand and that she’s holed up at home, healing from her injuries. What I worry most about is her mind. She knows I lied to her about the reason behind my divorce. She also knows, thanks to Maxen, that I’ve harbored some intense feelings for her basically the whole time I’ve known her.

Neither Knot nor Birdie has spoken to her. I’ve asked. God knows, she may not want to talk to anyone wrapped up in this for a while. She may not want to speak to me at all.

She’ll need someone, though. Sadie may not have known all the secrets I carried, but the woman is an open book. Isolation is not her friend. She’s always needed a team, even when it was just Brock and me. I’m just worried that I might not be a welcome part of her team anymore.

The punching bag absorbs several more violent blows, and then I step back, bending at the waist to pull a few deep breaths into my lungs.

The sound of leather smacking leather nearby draws my eyes upward again. Knot is standing in the middle of the training floor wearing punch pads. “You look like you could use a partner.”

Pushing up off my knees, I ask, slightly winded, “Your doctor clear you for this yet?”

Knot took a bullet to the back about eighteen months ago that nearly paralyzed him. The doctors managed to save him and his legs, but then infection set in. An infection that almost killed him. He’s come a long way in his recovery, but I don’t expect he’ll ever go into the field again. Even so, he’s determined to return to regular training.

Knot waves off my concern with a padded hand. “I’m not worried about him. Just don’t tell Trish.”

Trish Knot, the CEO’s wife and the only person on the planet this big man answers to.

Planning to take it easy, I join my boss under the lights and throw some easy punches. He presents the padded targets for some quick jabs and crosses and then swings them at my head for me to duck and uppercut.

“You know, I had you pegged on day one when it comes to Sadie.”

My hands drop, and I stand upright. “What?” I ask, stunned.

Knot reaches out and smacks me on the head with one of his pads. I drop back into a fighting stance and send a cross to the other pad. “I kept waiting for you to make a move since the Marine rulebook was no longer keeping your hands tied. At first, I admired you for upholding that standard, but eventually, I started thinking you were insane.”

I duck under Knot’s arm and swing at the target he presents. “Why is it so hard for people to understand this? I checked my emotions to respect Sadie’s position and what she was building for herself.”

“Hey, I understood it perfectly. Where you fucked up was in not realizing that Sadie had already built the career that she wanted. Besides, the whole fraternizing thing was a Marine rule, not mine. “I think what’s really going on is that you’re scared. Sadie became what she set out to be, and you’re afraid there won’t be any room left for you.”

I still my feet again. This time, Knot leaves me alone. “You think it’s so easy. Tell me this. We all know how people are. What would have happened the first time someone accused Sadie of sleeping her way up or of preferential treatment because we were together?”

Knot laughs. “Well, I imagine Sadie would have kicked their ass and put them in their place. Sadie doesn’t need help from you or anyone else when it comes to her career. And I think it’s about time you figured that out.”

He unstraps the pads from his hands and adds, “What Sadie needs more than anything right now is a friend. Someone who knows her well enough and is strong enough to pull her out of the hole Maxen buried her in. Be that for her. Whether she wants more or not, be that friend.”

The owner of Knot Corp heads for the door, stopping at the opening to toss over his shoulder. “Go home, Hosfeld. Think about what I said.”

Knot walks out, and I’m left staring at the mat as if I’ll find answers there. Minutes later, I haven’t moved, and memories parade through my mind of all the times Sadie and I faced off on this same floor.

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