Page 75 of Knot Guilty

“The jet made a short layover in Virginia to pick up some things for you. I insisted on tagging along.”

I reach up to rub my eyes but rethink my plan when I touch the bruises. Through a yawn, I ask, “Tagging along where?”

“Tennessee. We called your dad, and he insisted. And since you’re going to be incapacitated for a while, that was the best place. And don’t worry about Gunny. I called Bonnie. She’s going on vacation next week, so I’ve got him. Bonnie sends her love.”

Birdie reaches over to adjust my blanket and adds, “I didn’t tell her anything, so I’m sure she’s going to have questions.”

“Not as many as my father.”

The jet touches down in Pigeon Forge, and all five Phelps men are there to greet the plane. Knot and Birdie help me down the steps and are quickly replaced by two of my brothers.

My dad walks up to Knot, jaw clenched, obviously holding back what he thinks about me being in this condition. “Thank you for bringing her home.”

He accepts the bag Birdie hands him, and my friend walks over, gingerly placing her arms around my middle. “See you in three weeks, ok?”

Three weeks… This should be interesting.

My father turns away from my boss and steps close to where Brandon and Blake hold me steady. “Are you all right, Sadie Kate?”

My chin wobbles, and my father drops my bag on the tarmac. His big arms wrap around me carefully, and he whispers in my ear. “Are you sure you need to keep doing this to yourself?”

Wes and Mike walk up to stand in formation behind dad, and I debate how to answer. Ultimately, I decide to tell a version of the truth that won’t lead to them trying to pressure me out of my career. “Work didn’t do this to me. My… boyfriend did.”

With the way my family responds, you’d think world war three just started. All at once, the five of them begin shouting questions and promises of a slow death until I whistle to get their attention again. “You won’t get your chance. He’s already dead. Now, it’s over, I feel stupid, and I don’t want to talk about it.”

My father, not to be denied, reaches for my chin and inspects my face. He leans close and asks, “Please tell me it wasn’t him. That I didn’t let the man that hurt you walk away when I could have killed him.”

“It wasn’t Aaron, Dad. Aaron is the only reason I’m still alive.”

I turn to my boss and Birdie then. “Thanks for… everything.”

Knot hands me my phone and says, “I don’t want to see or hear from you until three weeks is up. If I need you, I’ll be able to get you.”

He steers Birdie toward the plane, and my father urges me toward Brandon’s Suburban. During the ride to my dad’s house, Mike is the first one to break the oppressive silence. He leans up from his seat on the third row and asks, “Has there been any change in the Aaron situation?”

I lean my head back against the seat and sigh. Of course, dad told them everything. “Yeah. The man I was with turned out to be the one that killed Brock. He set Aaron up to take the fall, but that’s all been cleared up now.”

Mike whistles but otherwise doesn’t respond.

At my dad’s house, the dining room has been cleared out and made into a bedroom in consideration of my many injuries. The guys brought my bed, dresser, and nightstand down to keep me from having to use the stairs.

That first night, no one sticks around for a boisterous meal which would be the norm for our family. Dad shoos my brothers out and fixes a simple meal of grilled cheese and tomato soup for the two of us. My dad successfully holds in the questions churning in his gut, and I manage to eat half my meal before taking a dose of pain pills and crashing early.

Dad skips work the next day in case I need any help getting around. Though my whole body hurts, I make do mostly on my own. He does refuse to let me step foot in the kitchen, adamant that he “can make a sandwich for his little girl, dammit.”

Dinner company consists of just my father and me again. I help out a little this time, using one hand to form some freshly kneaded bread dough into rolls. They aren’t shaped right, but they’ll eat just fine.

After the pot roast dinner, Dad and I sit on the back porch to stare at the fall colors on the mountain. He’s been patient, wanting to give me time to open up about what happened. Holding back only the naked moments, I tell my father everything from my first encounter with Avara until I woke up in the hospital in New Delhi.

My father is quiet after the long story. For a good while, the only sounds to be heard are the crickets and the creaking of his old rocking chair.

The rocking stops abruptly, and my father shifts strained eyes to mine. “Did you love this man, Sadie?”

My answer is what solidifies my guilt in all of this. “No. I kept pulling away like he said. I guess I felt something was wrong, even if I didn’t understand what. What kills me is that I let him use me to hurt people I care about, even though, deep down, I had doubts.”

“What about Aaron?”

My head is in a massive tangle regarding Maxen’s revelations about my best friend and partner. I don’t even know where to start unraveling the mess. The best, the only answer I can give to my father is, “I miss my friend.”

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