Page 94 of False Confidence

“I convinced myself you were just asking me to hang out because you felt sorry for me,” Jazz admitted. “I didn’t want to be a third wheel for you and Cal, or tag along with your new friends, just because you felt obligated to invite me. But I should’ve talked to you.”

“Probably,” Maggie agreed. “But I should’ve asked. Just so you know, Nadia and her friends intimidate the hell out of me too. They’re amazing, but I feel like I’ve accomplished nothing next to them.”

“Are you kidding? You’re amazing. You’ve made all your dreams come true.”

“Most of them, yeah. And you can see that, just how I can see how amazing you are and you can’t,” Maggie pointed out. “We weren’t raised to be proud of ourselves. It doesn’t come naturally to us. But you know what does?”

“Being proud of each other?” Jazz asked, and Maggie wrinkled her nose.

“Shit, I was going to say self-sabotage, but that’s so much nicer. Listen, it doesn’t matter how old we are, or how married I am, you’ll always be my number one.”

Jazz drew in such a big breath that her lungs burned. “I know,” she said, after a moment. “But I think… Shit. I think maybe it’s okay if I’m not anymore.” Her voice cracked, tears springing to her eyes.

Maggie’s face fell. “Jazz?—”

“No, Maggie, it’s okay. Really, this isn’t a bad thing.” Jazz wiped at her face. “I love Cal so much, and I love him for you. I couldn’t have dreamed up anyone better for you than him. And I know you loving him doesn’t mean you love me any less, so it’s okay if he’s your number one now. He should be. If you’d asked me a few years ago, I would have confidently said that there was no one in this world good enough for you. But Cal… He really is.”

“He is.” Maggie sniffed, silver lining her eyes. “He really, really is. I wouldn’t have him without you. You know that, right?”

“Yeah.” She could take a little credit for helping Maggie and Cal get where they were, and it might just be her favorite thing she’d ever done. “You deserve that kind of love, Maggie.”

“You do too, you know.”

Jazz rubbed her face, chuckling. “Yeah, well, Liam seems to be taking that choice out of my hands anyway, so.”

Shock and anger crossed Maggie’s face. “He ended things? You have to be fucking kidding me.”

“Whoa, no, no, the opposite actually,” Jazz clarified, and Maggie’s expression turned to confusion. “I tried to end things, and he said no and told me we’re actually in a relationship and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“Oh. Damn,” Maggie said, looking as impressed with Liam as Cal had. It had been pretty impressive. Jazz could begrudgingly admit that (but not to him—where was the fun in that?) “Clearly, you have a lot to catch me up on. Tell me everything.”

So Jazz did. She gave Maggie a rundown of the night before, stumbling through her feelings just as she had with Cal. But unlike her husband, Maggie understood right away. Because Maggie had been there.

“You don’t want to end things,” she said with complete certainty. “That’s not the problem here.”

“It’s me. I’m the problem. He’s perfect and I’m… This.” She gestured to herself, and Maggie’s face fell. “I’m chaotic and messy, selfish and difficult, and I fail anytime I try something, so I just don’t try because I’m scared. I’m so scared.”

“You’re human, Jazz. You’re made up of thousands of things, millions of things, and I promise there is more to you than the things other people have deemed unworthy. There’s more to you than your parents have deemed unworthy.” Maggie’s words hit her like a punch in the gut.

“I’m so scared,” Jazz whispered, her nails digging into her palms. “I love him, Maggie. I really, really love him. I mean, how could I not? He’s perfect. How can I possibly be enough for him?”

“No one’s perfect. Not even Michaelsons,” Maggie pointed out. “They just seem that way to us because of how we grew up. They’re pretty close to perfect, but let’s not forget it took Liam two years to do anything about the fact he had the world’s biggest crush on you. And he didn’t tell you about said crush before you made your orgasm pact, then he decided you were dating and in a relationship without asking you. Not to mention the mustache.”

“I kind of love the mustache,” Jazz begrudgingly admitted. “Actually, I kind of love all of it—all of him.”

Maybe she’d been pissed at Liam for keeping shit to himself in the moment, but she also understood why he did it. Because he understood her, and he knew she’d bolt if he came on too strong. It wasn’t like the signs hadn’t been there. Jazz could have protested until the day was done that they weren’t dating, but what the hell else could it have been? He hadn’t hidden what they were doing from her, he just hadn’t explicitly labeled it. Maybe that was wrong, but Jazz found it hard to care. She said as much as Maggie laughed.

“Of course you do. Because when you love someone, you love their imperfections too, right?”

“I guess.”

“So it stands to reason that Liam loves all of your imperfections too,” Maggie said gently, like the mere idea of it would scare the shit out of her. Which it did. “You’re not the first person to freak out because you fell in love. Are you forgetting that Cal pushed me into agreeing to a date with Liam? Or that I literally quit my job and fell off the grid for months?”

“But I’m not you or Cal,” Jazz protested. Why could no one seem to understand that? “You always land on your feet, both of you, no matter what life throws your way. If you want something, you just make it happen. Everything I touch fails.”

“That’s not true, Jazz. Cal and I wouldn’t be together without you. And I’ve known Liam for eight years and I’ve never seen him as happy as he is now. You did that.”

“Maybe I did that, but then I do shit like Saturday night and ruin it.” It was impossible to reconcile the version of her that held Liam’s hand, keeping him calm at the wedding, and the version of her who tried to break both of their hearts because she was scared to try. The version of her who hyped Maggie up when she and Cal broke up, and the version of her who called Maggie boring for marrying him.

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