Page 22 of Worst in Show

AlCaponesGhost25: Fair enough. What’s up?

There’s a brief impulse to tell him about the past few days, but I push it away. I’d rather keep the two worlds separate.

SingerQueen: Not much. Did you make it through the week without upsetting anyone else with your superior joke standards?

AlCaponesGhost25: You mean did anyone else tell me to eff off? No, but there are definitely people in my life who I’d like to teach a lesson or two in what constitutes a good joke.

SingerQueen: Yikes.

AlCaponesGhost25: Nah it’s all good. They’ve got nothing on me. I have professional experience in dealing with opportunistic cheats.

SingerQueen: Let me guess—you run an underground gambling ring?

AlCaponesGhost25: I’m not actually Al Capone.

SingerQueen: Lol. Just his ghost. Maybe you should haunt these subpar jokesters.

AlCaponesGhost25: I will if I have to.

A shiver runs up my spine at his no-nonsense response. Something tells me I wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of whatever lessons he’d be doling out. I’m about to say so when another message appears.

AlCaponesGhost25: And no, I don’t believe for a second you’re into ALL history. No one is that nerdy. *winky face emoji*

SingerQueen: Spoken as the newbie to this forum he is.

AlCaponesGhost25: *wears innocence as a badge of pride*

SingerQueen: And yet somehow you’re a moderator here?

AlCaponesGhost25: Doing someone a favor.

SingerQueen: Aren’t you the altruist.

AlCaponesGhost25: Far from it.

I frown. This guy speaks in riddles even when he’s not trying to. Maybe he, too, is compartmentalizing. If I want to know something real about him, I might have to take the plunge first, then.

SingerQueen: Your question earlier… I’m actually here for costuming. I’m a clothing designer and sometimes people on here need my help. Not super into history if I’m being honest.

AlCaponesGhost25: LOL knew it! Very sneaky.

SingerQueen: *shrug emoji* But for you it’s the mob stuff? Or mostly just to boss people around? Did you ever hear about that restaurant by the way—Al Capone’s Hideaway?

AlCaponesGhost25: Both and ate there lots of times when I was a kid. Good times. It’s basically my only knowledge of IL history.

I stare at the screen. He used to live in the area? If he’s twenty-five like his username suggests, Jaz might know who he is.

SingerQueen: You grew up in Illinois? Where?

AlCaponesGhost25: Yup. I’ve been away a long time though.

It doesn’t escape my notice that he sidesteps my question. Then again, even a child knows not to share personal information with strangers online. I shouldn’t have asked.

SingerQueen: Away haunting people?

AlCaponesGhost25: It’s a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it.

“When you’re done with that, can you take Cho and Cap for a walk?” Harvey asks. “Otherwise, your next riddle may well be ‘Why is the rug wet?’”

---