Page 70 of Angel

Maybe he’s had enough of me. I remind him too much of all the people he left behind in the neighborhood. I knew this wouldn’t last forever, but I was hoping it would last a little longer than this. I feel like I just found him, I’m not ready to lose him yet.

“Do… do you want me to leave?” I ask in barely a whisper.

When Rhys doesn’t answer, I blink my eyes open, bracing myself for the rejection. But that’s not what I find in Rhys’s expression.

I don’t know how to describe it, really. It’s tender and affectionate, so much care and fondness. Rhys’s eyes are glassy again, but there’s no hint of rejection in them. He pulls me down to him, and after a second of hesitation, I let him arrange me how he wants me.

My arm is slung over his waist. My face is tucked into the crook of his neck. I’m half on top of him.

“I don’t want to crush you,” I say, still keeping my weight off him.

“I want you to crush me.” He tugs me more snugly against him.

I give in. To him and to the overwhelming desire I have to be as close to him as possible.

It feels so good. Better than anything I’ve ever felt before. Maybe better than kissing. Maybe even better than sex. It’s hard to believe how something so simple can make me feel so light and joyful, calm and peaceful.

I soak it in. Every single drop. I’m hungry for it. Starving for it. For that connection I’ve found with Rhys that I never knew was possible.

He doesn’t want me to leave now. But that doesn’t mean he won’t change his mind later. I don’t know what I’ll do when that time comes.

I drift back toward consciousness, and the first thing that registers is that I need to pee.

The second thing is that I’m not hugging my pillow. No, the thing in my arms is much bigger, much warmer, and fits against my front much better than my pillow ever could.

I’m hugging Rhys. My heart rate skyrockets at the realization. We’re both on our sides, him facing away from me, his body tucked snugly into the curve of mine. I think this is called spooning? Which would make me the big spoon and Rhys the little spoon.

Delight races through me and a smile tugs at my lips. I’m spooning with Rhys. I memorize the feel of him, of his bum against my morning wood, the tickle of his hair in my nose, the way his chest expands with each breath. Another memory to add to my collection. Another moment I’ll be able to recall once this is all over.

We fit really well together—is that coincidence? I want to think that it’s not, that we were made for each other, custom-built to slot right into place.

My bladder protest and I reluctantly uncurl myself from around Rhys. He turns over as I ease off the bed, grabbing the pillow where my head was and nuzzling into it like he’s trying to find my scent again. If my bladder wasn’t bursting, I would slide right back into bed with him.

Instead, I grab my boxers from the floor and slip out of the room. I’ll just relieve myself and go right back to bed. I want to squeeze in every last second with Rhys before this ends and he kicks me out.

But on my way back to his room, I hear the front door opening.

I freeze, seized by sudden panic. Oh no. Is someone breaking into the apartment? What do I do? I’ll need to fight off the intruder. I’ve never fought anyone before.

Footsteps come down the long hallway. I plaster myself against the wall so I can jump the bad guy when he comes around the corner. But before anyone materializes, the living room lights flick on.

I hiss as the bright lights blind me. I press my fingers into my eyes to ease the sting.

“Uh… hey.”

I force my eyes open to find Hayden standing with his hand still on the light switch.

Oh. It’s not an intruder. It’s just Hayden.

“Uh, hey,” I parrot back at him.

We stand there, me in my boxers, Hayden with his coat still on, staring at each other.

“Um, I was just going to the bathroom,” I say, pathetically.

Hayden nods. “I’m just coming home.”

I nod back. “I, uh… I’ll just…” I point toward Rhys’s bedroom, not waiting for Hayden’s response before pushing myself off the wall.

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