Page 27 of Angel

All three stare in alarm for a moment before jumping into action. Hayden races to the kitchen and Rhys rushes to my side. Perching on the arm of my chair, he holds my shoulder with one hand and rubs my back with the other. The steady rhythm and firm pressure calms the weird spasm that’s overtaken me. It feels so nice.

“Sebby!” Rhys growls at Sebastian over my head.

“What? I didn’t do anything! I just asked a question!”

Hayden returns with a glass of water in his hand. “Here you go.”

I take the glass and sip—carefully—as my coughing fit fades. My throat feels a little raw, like there’s still something in it.

“You don’t have to answer the question,” Rhys says to me, his hand still roaming over my back. “You don’t owe us an answer.”

He’s probably right. I don’t owe them an answer. But I owe myself one, don’t I? Shouldn’t I know why I’m so interested in this? Shouldn’t I know why I’m here?

“Is it for the money?” Sebastian prompts.

“Sebby!” Rhys hisses, again.

“It’s why most people get into porn. There’s nothing wrong with needing a bit of extra cash.”

Money. Could that be it? I mean, I could definitely use it. With Sabrina and Jonah living with Mama now, there are two extra mouths to feed, plus all the baby stuff that Jonah needs. I’m still paying the mortgage on Mama’s house. Well, technically the second mortgage that Pop took out to finance his gambling habit before he up and died, leaving us with a boatload of debt. My job in construction pays well, but not that well.

Sure, money. That’s a good reason.

“Um, yeah, I need the cash,” I croak.

Sebastian shoots a glance over my head to Rhys, one that says he’s not convinced.

“What about straight porn? Have you thought about doing that? Or even solo stuff? You can make cash that way too.”

No. No freaking way. My body physically recoils at those suggestions, stuffing me into the corner of the chair where Rhys wraps his arm around my shoulders. The touch is so soothing, soft and strong at the same time. Safe and secure.

Sebastian looks both confused and amused. He lifts both hands, flicking them so his palms face out. “Or not. That’s fine. I’m just throwing out suggestions. A little brainstorming sesh.”

“Being comfortable is important,” Hayden adds with a nod. “The last thing you want is not being able to get it up when everyone else is ready to roll.”

The hands on my shoulders tighten a smidge, and I find myself leaning back with my head resting on Rhys’s… chest? Shoulder? Stomach? I can’t tell, but it feels… nice.

“You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with,” Rhys says. His voice comes from just above my head, edged with something steely and fierce. “You don’t have to do any of this if you don’t want to.”

Sebastian and Hayden both nod in agreement, which just leaves me. Do I want to do this?

The rational, logical, sane answer is no. Of course I don’t. I’m not gay. We’re not about to go bankrupt. If anyone found out I was doing porn, I’d get into so much trouble with Mama. I have no good reason to do this.

And yet, there’s been this seed growing inside me ever since that party. It’s gotten bigger with every passing day, sinking its roots into me and latching on tight. I don’t know what it is or what it wants with me. I don’t know why this is happening to me now.

There’s only one thing I do know—I can’t ignore it.

I nod. “I’ll do it.”

CHAPTER

NINE

RHYS

Sebastian and his boyfriend, Christian, are in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on the apartment we’ve rented for the shoot. They’ve hung up plastic sheeting and set out painting supplies. They’ve even covered the cupboards with removable contact paper that makes the doors look like they’re half painted.

Meanwhile, I’m freaking the fuck out in the bedroom.

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