Page 370 of Born of Blood and Ash

“I…” I breathed through my nose as words worked their wayaround the knot in my throat. “She said it was nothing.”

Ash went still again.

“She said how Kolis treated her and the things he made herdo was nothing.” My voice came out hoarse. I opened my eyes. “It wasn’tnothing. Gods know, I knew every time I said that what he did to me wasn’tnothing. And I know—” My voice cracked, and I shook my head, not wanting toshed a godsdamn tear over Veses.“I know Veses knew that, too. But she loved him. Andmaybe that was what turned her into what she ended up being. Always lovingsomeone who loved someone else. I don’t know. But I can see a—”

“You should never see yourself in her,” he cut in, tippingmy head back so my eyes met his. “Never.”

“I can see a part of me in her,” I continued, chest risingand falling fast. “Not the part that made her such a bitch, but the pain in hereyes. I saw it while in Dalos. She tried to hide it,but she…” A tear snuck free, and Ash immediately caught it with his finger.“But she did this—all of it—to herself. And if I…”

That was it.

If I had continued as if all that’d happened to me wasnothing, I could’ve ended up like her. Maybe not as bad. Perhaps even worse,but in a different way. Because that kind of pain and shame, that kind ofheartbreak, rotted you from the inside. It destroyed the glimpses of who youonce were. And perhaps that was why her death bothered me. Because I could’vedone it to myself. Killing her was like killing that one part of me that hadreluctantly connected to her.

I didn’t have to say all of that, but Ash still understood.I knew he did as he kissed each tear that started off as grief and then becamerelief. When they stopped, and I eventually found myself nestled once moreagainst his chest, I finally fell asleep.

And I slept deeply.

Until I woke before dawn, gasping for air as a shout of furyslammed around in my head. I felt that cord. The connectionthat signaled the balance being righted once more. Even with my eyes open, Icould see the darkness descending—black streaked with crimson.

Kolis was awake.

“Whoa,” Saion murmured as he leaned back in thesettee.

I’d just finished the first stage of Ascension in case Phanos decided to either remain loyal to Kolis or refusedto involve his Court. Only a tiny part of me held on to the hope that Phanos would choose us.

“You okay?” His cousin stood beside him, watching carefullyas I closed the wound on my wrist.

“Yeah. Just a head rush.” Saion looked dazed as he tried tofocus on me. “Your blood is…” He trailed off as a low growl of displeasureechoed from behind me.

Beside me, Reaver lifted his scaled head. A few minutes ago,he had growled when Saion neared me, which forced the god to stay seated and meto go to him.

Saion cleared his throat, sitting straighter. “It’s, um,something else.”

I shot Ash a frown over my shoulder as Jadis turned in herfather’s lap, her brilliant blue eyes blinking. “You’re being ridiculousagain.”

He ignored me, his glare fixed on Saion.

“Why is everyone growling at me today?” Saion asked.

The poor god was really having a rough morning.

I knew why Ash was growling. It was the wholekeep-away-from-my-pregnant-wife thing, which made me so grateful that Kars wasin the Callasta Isles because he’d surely get himselfkilled. But with Reaver, I had a feeling he was picking up on Ash’s tension andresponding to it.

“Did I do something?” Saion asked, bewildered.

“No,” I was quick to answer, elbowing Ash in the stomach.

“Uh.” Saion glanced at Rhahar andthen Ash before raising his hands. “I feel the need to apologize.”

“You don’t need to apologize,” I said. “He’s just cranky.”

“Cranky?” repeated Ash.

“Well,” Nektas drawled, risingfrom his chair with Jadis in his arms. The little drakenwas still focused on Ash as she clutched her father’s hair with her claws. “Ithink it’s time we head to the Triton Isles.”

“He’s right.” Saion shook his head, smothering a yawn. “Phanos would’ve felt this.”

And with Kolis being awake, we needed to make it quick.

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