Page 45 of Born of Blood and Ash

Would I have done so with Ector and Orphineif given the chance? My immediate response was yes, but I knew that it wasn’tas simple as what I wanted. And it wasn’t my new, uncanny sense of knowing thattold me that.

“Sera?” Concern filled Aios’svoice.

“Sorry. I got a little lost in my thoughts.” I clasped myknees. “I was thinking about those I’ve restored life to and balance. How whenthere is life, there must be death. Like an exchange.”

Aios’s brows rose and thenfurrowed. “Are you saying that when you bring someone back to life…”

“Another dies,” I finished for her, thinking about mystepfather. When I’d brought Marisol back, the former King of Lasania had paid for it with his life.

Her face drained of blood. “Did someone else take my place?”

My eyes widened. “No. Gods, I’m sorry. I should’veclarified. It only happens with mortals, not gods or draken.”

“Oh, thank the Fates.” Aiosblinked rapidly as she looked away, her throat working on a swallow. “Iwouldn’t know what to think if that were the case.” Her gaze found mine. “Whenyou brought Gemma back, do you know who…?”

“Who paid for her life with theirs?” I continued. “I don’t.And I don’t want Gemma learning about this.”

Aios nodded slowly. “Agreed. Shewould likely blame herself.”

Marisol would, too, if she ever learned what’d happened.And, gods, that would be super complicated, considering it had been her wife’sfather who had ended up in death’s grip.

“There was another before Gemma,” I said, telling Aios about Marisol. “I didn’t know what would happen then.Honestly, I didn’t even think I would be able to bring her back to life. Shewas my first mortal.”

“Would knowing that another life had to be forfeited havechanged what you did?”

A wry grin tugged at my lips. “You asked something similarof me before. And by the way, you were right that day when you said thatcreating life out of death was in my nature.”

Her silver eyes lightened. “I was, but I don’t think eitherof us knew just how right.”

“No doubt.” I laughed, sliding my palms over my thighs. Thelast time she’d asked this, it had been about Bele and whether I would’ve stillbrought her back if I had known that her Ascension would draw the attention ofthe other Primals. This time, I put it into words. “Iwould’ve still done it to save my stepsister the heartbreak of losing someoneshe loved.” The irony that the act had taken another she loved was cruel. “Andif I had gotten to Ector in time or had a chance to save Orphine,I would’ve. But—” I cut myself off, shaking my head. “Never mind. You don’tneed to hear any of this.”

“No. It’s okay.” The hem of her gown swayed across the stonefloor as she angled her body toward mine. “Please, continue. I find thistopic…interesting.” Her nose wrinkled. “I feel like that may have beeninappropriate to admit.”

I raised a brow. “I’m the last person you need to worryabout being inappropriate with.”

“Actually, you’re technically the only person Ishould worry about my behavior around,” she corrected. “You are the Queen.”

My heart skipped several beats. Somehow, that fact keptslipping my mind.

“Many of us either weren’t born when there was a true Primalof Life or weren’t close enough to Eythos to everhear him speak of what it was like.”

“I’m not sure I even know what it’s like,” I admitted. “ButI was just…I was just thinking about knowing when to use the ability to restorelife and when not to. Like I can’t bring everyone back, but if it really is inmy nature, how do I stop it? How do I decide—and I hate using this word—but howdo I decide who deserves it and who doesn’t?”

You don’t.

I stiffened. The voice that whispered in my thoughts wasmine, and the knowledge came from my Ascension. “It’s not the Primal of Life’splace to intervene in the natural order of things,” I whispered, but…that was bullshit.“What was natural about how Ector and Orphine died?”I turned to Aios. “Or you. There was nothing naturalabout what Kyn did when he attacked the Shadowlands. That can’t be apart of the natural order of things.”

“There was nothing natural about any of that. What Kyn didwas unnecessarily cruel,” she said, and knowing what I did about the Primal, Ididn’t doubt that for a moment. “I should’ve stayed inside.” Tears built in hereyes, clouding the pulse of eather. “I don’t knowwhat I was thinking when I went out there. I’m not trained to fight like youand Bele, but I thought I could at least help the wounded get inside.”

“You’re not trained, but you had to do something,” I said,choosing my words carefully. “Wanting to help is understandable.”

She pressed her lips together. “I know, but…Kyn saw me whenhe entered the courtyard. He came right for me. And, Fates, I still don’tunderstand why. He knows I’m not a fighter—that I was no threat to him—but hegrabbed me and dragged me toward the pikes where the dakkaiswere feeding on some of the restrained who were still alive.” She sucked in asharp breath. Closing her eyes, she shook her head. I waited in silence untilshe could speak again, knowing she was seeing in her mind what I was. The liveslost on those pikes, their bodies brutalized in unimaginable ways. Except she’dbeen there when it happened. “In all the years I’ve lived, I’ve never witnessedanything like that. Not even in Dalos. Not even fromKolis.”

There was a good chance I stopped breathing. I was bettingthat Kyn had gone for her because of her time spent held against her will byKolis. And I also wouldn’t be surprised to learn that Kolis had offered Aios to Kyn at some point.

Her fingers twisted the chain at her throat. “Ector saw ithappening and tried to stop Kyn, even though he knew he shouldn’t. Ector gotKyn good, though. Nearly took his arm off.” She hastily wiped her palm over hercheek. “Ector’s death was quick. At least, there was that.”

Hearing that did bring me some peace, but it didn’t dampenmy building fury.

---