Page 383 of Born of Blood and Ash

I probably wouldn’t have stopped Attes,but then again, I had a history of not making the greatest life choices. “Haveyou slept at all?”

He shifted in the chair, draping an arm over the back.“Yeah.”

I had a feeling he was lying. “Have you eaten? Fed?”

A soft laugh rumbled from him. “I’m fine, Sera.”

“No, you’re not,” I said, and his gaze finally met mine. “Idon’t expect you to be. No one would.”

He stared at me for a long moment. “You sound like Nyktos.”

“If he said something like that, he was speaking the truth.”I leaned against the doorframe. “I’m sorry, Attes.”

Thick lashes lowered. “So am I.”

Neither of us said anything for several moments. We bothjust watched Lailah, which I doubted she would be too happy to discover if shewoke up. It was Attes who ended the silence.

“It’s not like I didn’t know what he had become.” There wasa roughness to his voice now, and as much as hearing that made my chest ache,it was better than the flatness. “Or that I held on to any hope that he couldbe saved. I accepted he couldn’t. Knew the Kyn I grew up with and loved waslong gone. But you know what I saw in the seconds before I…before I ended him?”

“What?” I whispered.

“I saw the Kyn who sat beside me after my children werekilled. Who was there for me when I felt like my world had been destroyed.” Hishead tipped back, and his gaze went to the ceiling. “That’s the Kyn I keepseeing.”

“Maybe…maybe that’s the Kyn you should remember and mourn,”I said.

“But is that right? Considering everything he’s done?”

“He was still your brother, and you still had good timeswith him.” I lifted a shoulder, searching for something that felt like theright thing to say. “How he turned out doesn’t erase who he once was.”

Now, it was Attes who raised abrow as he looked at me. “You really believe the shit you’re saying?”

“Well, not for me. I only knew him as the asshole he was,” Iadmitted, and a wry grin tugged at his lips. “But regarding you and what youknow? Yeah, I believe it.”

Attes seemed to consider that,then nodded. “I guess I should be thankful for his attack. Because of him, wenow have enough Ancient bones.”

Ash, Nektas, Aurelia, andapparently Attes, had raided Kyn’s palace last nightwith success. “We do.”

“I’m guessing your Fate hasn’t returned yet?”

“No.” I straightened, feeling the ball of anxiety growing.

“Phanos will try to talk Kolis outof it. So will Varus,” Attes said, referencing theonce-entombed god I had yet to see. A muscle ticked in his jaw. “But Koliswon’t listen to them. He will agree. Sotoria is hisweakness. He’ll risk anything while ignoring common sense and every red flag toget her.”

“That’s what we’re counting on.” I thought of something asmy gaze moved from him to Lailah. “If Sotoria choosesto be reborn, will you still go into stasis?”

“Yes,” he said without hesitation. “I have to, Sera. If Idon’t, I wouldn’t be in a good headspace to even be around her. If she retainsher memories, I wouldn’t be the Attes she remembers.And that’s…” He sighed heavily. “That’s the last thing she’d need. And if shechooses to be reborn, I want her life to be happy. To be good. She deservesthat.”

“But you love her,” I whispered.

Attes nodded. “And that is why Iwill be in stasis.”

Heart twisting, I drew in a breath that stung. To give upthe possibility of being with someone just to make sure there was no chance youwould disappoint or cause them harm? And he would be giving up thatopportunity. I doubted a mortal’s lifespan was enough time in stasis for it tobe of any real help. That was true love.

My gaze shifted back to the sleeping Primal goddess. “Do youlove Lailah?”

Attes was quiet for so long, Ididn’t think he’d answer. When he did, he did so with a question. “Do you thinkit’s possible to love two people at the same time?”

I thought about it. “I think it depends on the person. Noteveryone would be able to, but some could. And probably do.”

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