Page 340 of Born of Blood and Ash

“You are Seraphena first.” The eather intensified behind her pupils. “A woman who hasfought for her autonomy. This is your body.”

My fingers dug into my knees. “You’re a goddess of fertility,so hearing you speak of terminating a pregnancy to the Primal of Lifeis…kind of odd.”

“What I am allows me to fully understand the complex natureof these things.” She reached between us, tucking a stray curl behind my ear.“Sometimes, the time simply is not right. It happens. And if anyone faults youfor that, that is on them. Not you. They do not live your life. It is theirproblem. Not yours.” Her eyes met mine. “You don’t need to make a decisionright now. You have time.”

“I know, and I agree with everything you’ve said.” And Itruly did. “But…”

“But what?” Her eyes searched mine. “Is that not an option?”

I opened my mouth, but I couldn’t speak. Did I want to keepthem? Be a mother?

I sucked in a sharp breath. It was almost as if theknowledge had finally made it past the shock. There was life inside me. Lives.

Acid gathered in the back of my throat. My gaze flickered tothe portraits hung along the back wall, and I saw Ash in my mind’s eye. He helda tiny, fragile life, cradled in his arms and against his chest.

Oh, gods.

My heart turned to mush at the same moment my stomach feltlike it had dropped to the floor. Fear and even a bit of awe mingled with theweight of the reality.

“Thank you for confirming this and for reminding me I haveoptions,” I said. “But I can’t make that choice without talking to Nyktos. I’ve…I’ve lied and hidden enough from him. I can’tdo that with this.”

She held my stare and nodded. “Whatever path you choose, Iwill stand by your side. You are not alone in this, Sera. Just remember that.”

Breathe in.

I sat on the edge of the underground pool, my feet in thewarm water. I’d tucked the skirt of my gown under my knees, but the edges werestill damp. My hands were clasped loosely in my lap as I watched the millschurn, keeping the water from going stagnant. My mother would be proud. I wasthe picture of serenity.

Hold.

I had to be, lest I wanted Ash to feel exactly how freakedout I was.

Or even possibly bring the entire palace down on my head,which would be bad. Really bad since the other Primalswere still here.

Breathe out.

I had no idea how long I’d been down here. I’d need to makean appearance soon, but I wasn’t sure how I could when there was a really goodchance I would blurt out the news in front of the gods only knew who. It wasn’tthat I was hiding from Ash.

Okay, I kind of was.

I knew I needed to tell him that I…was pregnant. My stomachdipped and twisted, my gaze dropping to the churning, midnight-hued water. Itwas so clear it looked black due to the shadowstonefloors. Just like my lake.

Breathe in.

This wasn’t something I could keep from him or even wantedto. I needed to talk to him about this. I needed to know what he thought. Howhe would react.

But I also needed time to grasp the fact that Iwas…pregnant.

With two babes.

“Fuck,” I whispered, then held my breath for a count offive.

What was I going to do? I barely knew how to take care ofmyself. How was I supposed to parent two children? Two newborns when Icould barely handle Jadis when she was throwing a temper tantrum?

Granted, she could spit fire, and the babes wouldn’t be ableto do that, but I knew they could spew all manner of fluids.

Breathe out.

I didn’t even know how to take care of a babe. I hadn’t hadthe greatest role model when it came to parenting, but I didn’t think I had totry all that hard to be better. More present. Loving. Caring—

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