Page 339 of Born of Blood and Ash

“Sera?” she said tentatively.

“Yes?”

“Are you all right?”

I laughed. It was high-pitched. Strained.

“That was a silly question.” She placed her hand on my arm.“You probably don’t know what to feel.”

“That…that is true.” The breath I took was thin, but I wasable to draw one in, which surprised me. This was one of those moments wherehaving a complete meltdown would be understandable, but I was glad I wasn’t. Iso didn’t need Ash picking up on any of my emotions right now.

I could feel the blood pounding in my temples. “Can you tellhow far along I am?”

“Not to the exact date,” she said, and for some reason, thatmade me want to laugh again. “But I would say you’re at least ten or elevenweeks along. Perhaps even twelve.”

Perhaps even…

That meant I could be three months along. That didn’t seemlike a long time, but it also felt like a lifetime. Either way, it definitelymeant I’d conceived before I Ascended. Possibly the first time or two Ash and Ihad been together.

Gods.

“I don’t even know if I want kids. How can I be having twoof them?”

“I don’t believe conception hinges on what one wants,” shesaid gently. “But I get what you’re saying.”

The shelves of books blurred. “I don’t even know if Nyktos wants children.”

“It’s not like you two have had much time to discuss suchthings.”

“We…we haven’t had any time.” Eyes closing, I swallowed.“Not any real length of time to just be a…a couple, you know? We were in eachother’s way at first. Nyktos hadn’t known he couldlove. And I was dying.” The laugh I’d held back came then. “We didn’t even knowwe had a future longer than the one we thought we had. There is still so muchwe need to learn about each other. I haven’t even seen his paintings!”

Aios was quiet. She gentlysqueezed my arm, her eyes filled with sympathy.

And my mind was no longer empty. My thoughts raced. “We haveso much to do.”

“I know,” she said, her voice soft as she squeezed my armagain.

“I can’t sit out anything that must be done.”

“If you decide to go through with this, it will changeeverything. You cannot go into battle—”

“Watch me,” I replied, my voice hardening with a power thatblazed as fierce as an inferno. “I won’t let this stand in my way. I’m thePrimal of Life. I’m needed to put Kolis in the ground. Besides that, I am afighter, Aios. It’s who I am. There is no way I couldjust stand by and do nothing.”

“But think of the risks—”

“I know what the risks are.”

“No, you don’t. Not right at this moment,” she corrected inthat gentle way of hers. “Pregnancies are difficult in general. Even for a godor a Primal, and that’s just when they’re only carrying one child, not two.”She twisted, pointing her knees toward me and lifting my hands from my lap.“Your loyalty and courage are admirable, Sera, but if this is what you decide,you must consider the fate of your unborn babes.”

My hands trembled in her grasp. “How can I consider theirsbut not the fate of the realms? We cannot allow Kolis to continue, and I needto be right beside Nyktos. If not, he could fall. Andif he does…” Panic pierced my chest as I pulled my hands free. “I will be theruin of realms.”

Blood drained from her face. “Sera—”

“There cannot be a choice between the two,” I shouted, myvoice echoing through the chamber. The ferocity of my outburst left mebreathless, and the silence hung heavily between us.

Aios nodded. “Okay.” She clearedher throat, her eyes glistening. “There doesn’t need to be a choice at all.”

My breath snagged, and I recoiled. “I’m the Primal of Life,Aios.”

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